


The Love Life of Natasha Carter

by StoriesbyReese



Series: The Life of Natasha Carter [4]
Category: Agent Carter (TV), Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Timelines, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bisexual Female Character, Bisexual May Parker, Bisexual Natasha Romanoff, Bisexual Peggy Carter, Dating, Developing Relationship, Domestic Avengers, Domestic Fluff, F/F, Family, Non-Canon Relationship, Rare Pair, Romance, Timeline What Timeline
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2021-04-03
Packaged: 2021-04-25 20:21:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 39,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22336369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StoriesbyReese/pseuds/StoriesbyReese
Summary: This Natasha Carter story is about Nat's love life. More to the point, it's about Natasha meeting and falling in love with May Parker. From first meeting to white lace and matching rings. This also includes Peggy/Angie, Sharon/Sam, and Tony/Pepper since in this world they're all a big happy bamf family.
Relationships: Angie Martinelli & Natasha Romanov, May Parker (Spider-Man) & Natasha Romanov, May Parker (Spider-Man)/Natasha Romanov, Natasha Romanoff & May Parker, Natasha Romanoff & Peggy Carter, Natasha Romanoff & Peter Parker, Natasha Romanoff & Wanda Maximoff, Natasha Romanov/May Parker, Peggy Carter & Angie Martinelli, Peggy Carter & Natasha Romanov, Peggy Carter & Wanda Maximoff & Natasha Romanov, Peggy Carter/Angie Martinelli, Peter Parker & Natasha Romanov, Sharon Carter/Sam Wilson, Wanda Maximoff & Natasha Romanov, natasha romanoff/may parker
Series: The Life of Natasha Carter [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1583923
Comments: 70
Kudos: 143





	1. Chapter 1

It almost felt wrong to Natasha, moving into an apartment in Queens. She was a Brooklyn girl through and through, just like her Ma. Not even the move to D.C. could change that, even though technically she’d lived longer in D.C. than she had in Brooklyn. But the apartment was nice, the building secure, she liked the neighborhood, Sharon’s apartment was a quick motorcycle ride away, and best of all at least Queens was in the states. For the last couple of years she had been stationed all across Europe. Natasha had a pretty good feeling that Fury had sent her to every out of the way Eastern European country he could find so she wasn’t around to remind her mother that he had recruited her behind her back. Europe had certainly been exciting, and the experience she gained invaluable, but she was really happy to be home, happy to be a simple drive away from her mothers, Sharon, and Tony. 

Climbing the stairs to her floor, Natasha carefully balance the last few boxes of her personal things, which she’d just picked up from her mothers’. She had just turned left to head down the hall towards her new apartment when something slammed into her, knocking her off balance a bit and causing her to jostle the boxes. While she managed not to drop the boxes, the baking dish with the lasagna her Ma had given her as she left went crashing to the floor. Her blue-green eyes flickered down at the mess on the floor to the right of her, and then she turned her head to the left to see what had slammed into her. She was honestly a little surprised to find a young boy standing there looking up at her with wide deer caught in the headlights brown eyes and a mop of dark brown hair. 

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry.” The boy said rapidly. “I’m so so so sorry!” 

“Peter Benjamin Parker!” A woman’s voice shouted from the stairs. “What have I told you about rushing up and down the stairs all willy nilly like that!” 

“I’m sorry Aunt May!” The boy, Peter apparently, said again, before turning to Natasha. “I’m sorry ma’am, really I am.” 

The woman, Aunt May, was of average height, slender but not thin. Her hair was a rich chestnut brown and long, spilling down her back in soft waves. And her voice, well that made Natasha smile because the woman was very clearly from Brooklyn. “No harm done.” Natasha said as May came over to stand beside the boy. She watched as their gazes went to the mess on the floor, her own gaze landing there as well and she chuckled. “Well, almost no harm done. Doesn’t look like my mother’s lasagna survived the fall.” 

“Peter, go back upstairs and get stuff to clean this up.” May said firmly to the boy while handing him her keys. 

Peter nodded almost comically. “Yes Aunt May.” 

May shook her head as he scampered off. “I’m really sorry about that. He’s a good boy, he just gets a little excited and ahead of himself sometimes.” 

“It’s fine.” Natasha reassured as she moved to set her boxes down by her door. “Really.” 

“At least let me pay for the loss of the lasagna.” May offered. 

Natasha shook her head and held up her hand. “No need, my Ma keeps an emergency lasagna in the freezer just in case. All I have to do is call her and she’d bring it to me.” 

“Was that a hint of Brooklyn in your voice?” May asked, a smile tugging at her lips. 

“Born and mostly raised.” Natasha said with a nod. “I’m Natasha by the way.” 

May smiled. “May.” She replied as Peter came thundering back down the stairs. “And that’s my nephew Peter, who is apparently still in too much of a hurry.” 

The boy waved on his way to clean up the mess he’d made. “We have to be back before the press conference starts, Aunt May, you promised!” 

“Press conference?” Natasha asked, her brow raised in a similar fashion to the way her Mum did when she was curious about something. Did kids this age even know what a press conference was? 

May rolled her eyes affectionately at her boy. “Most kids his age are obsessed with cartoons, or sports, or video games, or that Iron Man thing that’s been flying around the city, but my little man is obsessed with Tony Stark who is apparently giving some kind of big press thing this afternoon.” 

Miraculously Natasha managed not to laugh. As much as she loved Tony, she wasn’t sure if he was the best role model for impressionable kids. She knew the Tony under all the hype, the boy she knew was still under all of that arrogance and sarcasm, but that wasn’t the Tony the world knew. “He is a brilliant man.” 

“Among other things.” May replied. 

“All cleaned up Aunt May!” Peter said with a beaming smile. “Can we go now please?” 

May sighed and again rolled her eyes affectionately. “Alright alright, let's go.” She smiled at Natasha as Peter began tugging at her arm. “It was nice meeting you Natasha. Welcome to the building.” 

Natasha waved and then turned towards her door as she fished her keys out of the pocket of her black leather jacket. Once inside she set her boxes on the sofa. Shrugging out of her jacket she threw it alongside the boxes and then flicked on her stereo. As she got to work on unpacking she let her mind drift a bit. May had mentioned Iron Man, and Natasha was fairly certain that Iron Man was the reason Fury had brought her back to the states. She was also fairly certain that after what happened at Stark Industries she knew why Fury wanted her out of all the agents at his disposal. 

Her hunch was right. Sitting on her sofa with an open pizza box on her coffee table and a beer in her hand Natasha watched the press conference little Peter Parker had been so excited about. She had the bottle half way to her lips as she watched her cousin ramble and rolled her eyes, and then he faulted and Natasha froze. 

“I am Iron Man.” 

“Son of a bitch, Tony.” Natasha said as she gaped at the television. Unsurprisingly, moments after the words came out of Tony’s mouth, her phone rang. “Hi Mum.” She replied to the tight accented voice on the other end. “No, I had no idea. Fury? You’ll have to ask him.” Her mother was angry, Natasha could almost feel it over the phone line. Of course she could understand her mother’s anger, especially on the heels of her fear and worry after Tony had gone missing. Natasha herself had been deep into a mission in Budapest when Tony went missing, otherwise she’d have been out there looking for him herself. “Hmm?” Natasha said when she realized her mother had asked her a question. “Oh, the lasagna,” She looked at her half eaten pizza and smirked. “Tell Ma it was great, as always. I really missed her cooking.” 

Almost instantly after hanging up with her mother Natasha’s phone rang again. She already knew who it was. “Fair warning, the old lady is so pissed right now, and a lot of it’s aimed at you, Sir.” Fury’s reply was that he could handle Director Carter. Natasha fell off her couch laughing. When she was finished Fury told her to report to him for her new assignment first thing in the morning.


	2. Chapter 2

Natasha was confused. How was she more exhausted at the end of a week working as an executive assistant then she was at the end of a week of chasing down terrorists and spies? It had to be Tony, it absolutely had to be Tony. Working as her cousin’s assistant was going to drive Natasha into early retirement. Her brilliant genius idiot cousin created a piece of technology that could just as much harm as Tony wanted to do good. Her actual boss, Director Nick Fury, who was now perpetually on her mother’s shit list, had her babysitting Tony. Ok, so it was more than just babysitting. Tony’s Iron Man suit was really a marvel, and she could see why Fury might want to recruit Tony for his pet project. Natasha was actually there to observe and evaluate to see if Tony could be an asset to Fury’s project, or if he was going to be a liability for SHIELD to clean up after. 

After gathering up the mail that had piled up over the couple of weeks she’d been in Malibu, Natasha headed for the stairs with nothing on her mind but a hot bath, a trashy book, and a bottle of wine. But the path upwards to her apartment seemed to be blocked by a very sad looking Peter Parker. “Hi Peter.” She greeted the boy. “Is everything ok?” 

“Yeah.” Peter replied with a sad sigh. “It’s fine.” 

“That voice doesn’t sound like an everything’s fine voice.” Natasha said as she sat beside the boy on the stairs. He had his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands, and the most wounded look in his big brown eyes. How on earth did May resist those eyes?

“It’s nothing Ms. Carter, really.” Peter said as he lifted his head to look at her. “I tried to win tickets to the Stark Expo.” He told her as he held up a crumpled piece of paper. “But I didn’t win.” 

“Oh.” Natasha replied softly. “I’m sorry, Peter. I know how big a fan you are of…” 

“Peter.” May’s voice called softly from behind them. “What’s taking you so long to get the mail?” 

Natasha turned to look at the other woman and smiled softly. “He got some bad news I’m afraid.” 

“Stark Expo?” May asked and Natasha nodded. May sighed softly. “I’m sorry, Petey. I’m sure Mr. Stark will have another one, we’ll try to get tickets for that one.”

A week after Natasha moved in May had knocked on her door with a freshly made lasagna to replace the one that had bitten the dust when Peter knocked into her. Ever since then they’d slowly started becoming friends. Peter was a great kid, and May was pretty amazing. She’d told Natasha about how she’d ended up with Peter after his parents had died over coffee one day, and about the loss of her husband over a bottle of wine. So it was easy for her to make the decision to see if she could pull a few strings and get Peter into the expo. Peter and May had been through a lot in Peter’s short life, and if Natasha could do something nice for them, she’d be more than thrilled to do it. 

All Natasha had to do was ask Pepper, who was more than happy to provide two VIP passes as a thank you for helping her with Tony, which wasn’t an easy task. Natasha had laughed. “I’ve had Tony’s back since we were kids. It’s nice knowing he has someone like you in his corner, Pepper, I should be the one thanking you.” Pepper had blushed. Natasha thought it was cute, and wondered if Tony would ever get a clue and realize that Pepper was in love with him. 

Knocking on the Parkers’ door Natasha had a warm smile on her face when May answered. “I hope you don’t mind.” She said when May invited her in. “But I have a surprise for Peter.” 

“He’s been so bummed out about the expo, if you can put a smile on his face again I’ll owe you.” May replied and then called out for her nephew. 

“Hey Peter.” Natasha said when the boy greeted her. “I was wondering if you might be able to help me out.” Crouching down so she was eye to eye with the boy she pulled a small brown envelope from her pocket, and from that she began pulling out two lanyards. “See, I just happened to have two VIP passes to the Stark Expo, and I was wondering if maybe you knew someone who might like them.” 

Peter’s eyes went wide and his jaw dropped as he looked at the shine laminated passes as if they were the most amazing things on the planet. 

“So, do you know someone who…” Natasha said, smiling a huge smile as she watched the awe blossom on the boy’s face. 

“Me!” Peter said. “I’d like them, Ms. Carter! Please!” 

Natasha laughed. “Well that’s a relief because I got them just for you.” 

Peter continued to watch Natasha in awe as she hung one of the lanyards around his neck. Then he threw himself at her and hugged her. “Thank you Ms. Cater! Thank you thank you thank you!” 

May watched as Natasha blushed a little as Peter hugged her, his big brown eyes bright and his smile huge. She shook her head a bit, amazed by the kind gesture, and smiled at Natasha when the woman stood and turned towards her. “Natasha, you didn’t have to do that. It couldn’t have been easy or cheap to get VIP passes when normal tickets are sold out.” 

“It’s not a big deal, May.” Natasha reassured the woman with a warm smile. “All I had to do was ask my cousin for them, well, technically I asked Pepper, but…” 

“Pepper?” Peter repeated, taking his eyes off the passes he was studying to look at the redheaded woman. “Pepper Potts? She works for Mr. Stark! You know Pepper Potts, Ms. Carter?” 

Natasha nodded, chuckling over Peter’s excitement. “I do.” 

Peter’s eyes went even wider as he dared to whisper, “Do you know Mr. Stark too?” 

“May,” Natasha said over her shoulder. “I’m afraid if I answer that I might break your nephew.” 

May laughed. “Go for it, I have to admit I’m curious as to how you know someone like Tony Stark.” 

Natasha turned to look at May as she said, “I know what you’re thinking and no that is not how I know Tony, in fact, eww gross.” Then she laughed and turned to look at Peter. “Tony’s my godbrother, and we were raised together like cousins.” 

If real life people could get hearts and stars in their eyes Peter would have them in his now as he looked up at Natasha. “Carter!” He squealed. “Mr. Stark’s godmother is Margaret Carter, she was a war hero.” 

“Is. Is a war hero” Natasha corrected him with a chuckle. “My Mum’s still alive bud, she lives in Brooklyn, and gives me grief about not calling enough.” 

“Tony Stark will always be the coolest person on the planet to him.” May said as she smiled at Natasha. “But I think you’re now a solid second.” 

Natasha stayed for dinner and told a few stories about growing up with Tony much to Peter’s delight. It was more than she’d normally admit to people, but there was just something about May that made talking easy, and having Peter’s attention was kind of wonderful. She told them she was working for Tony and Pepper, and would be working the expo but promised to make time to show them around. Peter’s excitement must have been contagious because for the first time Natasha was starting to feel excited about the expo too.

The afternoon of the expo Natasha slipped away to meet May and Peter at the gates. She had a present for Peter, an Iron Man helmet and little gauntlets that lit up. He gave her the biggest hug that sent a wave of warmth through her, and once again made her blush in a way that made May smile. She helped him put the helmet on and then he refused to take it off as they walked around the fairgrounds. 

“I remember coming to these when I was Peter’s age.” Natasha said as she and May watched Peter run from one exhibit to the next. “My Uncle Howard started the expos before the war, and continued them afterwards. I think he kind of saw himself as the science and technology version of Walt Disney.”

“Where you into all this science and tech stuff as a kid too?” May asked Natasha before calling out. “Peter, don’t get so far ahead of us please. I need to be able to see you.” 

“Ok, Aunt May!” Came the little boy’s reply. 

Natasha smiled and shook her head. “Oh, no, I was a dancer actually.” 

“Really?” May turned to look at the woman walking beside her.

“Ballet.” Natasha nodded. “Started when I was four, gymnastics when I was six. I was always full of more physical energy, while Tony was always the one in his own head coming up with inventions and theories.” 

“Do you still dance?” May asked. 

“I haven’t performed since college, but yes, I still dance.” Natasha smiles softly. 

When it was nearly time for the main presentation Natasha had to excuse herself to return to work, but promised to meet up with May and Peter afterwards. When Pepper got out of the car alone Natasha frowned. When she asked about Tony, Pepper just shook her head and said, “Don’t ask.” And when Natasha looked at Happy for answers, he just threw up his hands and followed Pepper. Sighing Natasha did the same. She’d thought that since Tony was able to undo his palladium poisoning he was in a better place. Had she been wrong? Had she left him alone to soon?

Her instincts were telling her something was off from the moment Justin Hammer took the stage with his War Machine. The gun metal gray heavily armored suit was exactly what Tony didn’t want his tech turned into. Natasha was pissed, and if she could get her hands on either Hammer or Rhodes she’d cause them great amounts of pain. When Tony showed up, she knew she was about to get her chance. Everything after that happened so fast, and Natasha was focused on the crisis at hand. She did however manage to send off a text to May while Happy drove her over to Hammer’s facility to make sure she and Peter were alright. May replied they were and Natasha was able to fight with a clear mind. 

Over the next week a few texts and a phone call was all the contact Natasha had with May. She’d gone back to Malibu with Tony to help clean up the mess he and Rhodes had made. She punched Rhodes in the face, sprawling him out on his ass, for stealing Tony’s suit and handing it over to the government. Pepper, the little snitch, called and told her mother about the secret she and Tony had been keeping. So Natasha had to deal with an irate Peggy Carter, that was always fun. She didn’t help herself by telling Pepper over a family dinner one evening that snitches get stitches. 

Her Ma had laughed, “You think these two are bad?” Angie told Pepper. “Wait until all three of them are together.” 

Pepper’s eyes had gone wide. “There’s another one?” 

Her Mum was not amused. “Natasha Elizabeth Carter, you will stop inflicting violence on people because they made your cousin pout, or so help me god, you and I will have a private conversation when we get home.” Natasha opened her mouth to argue but Peggy beat her to it. “Say the words grown, arse, or woman and we’ll have that chat now.” 

Without Tony to worry about and fuss over there was nothing to distract Natasha from her personal concerns. She didn’t have a lot of friends; family, yes, she had a great family, but not many friends. Clint didn’t count, he was family. She’d lost contact with Hope van Dyne after her father stopped working for SHIELD and moved her to the west coast after her mother’s death. She and Maria Hill were friends, but there were work entanglements that came with that. For a moment Natasha thought she’d finally found a friend in May, but after what happened at the expo she wouldn’t blame the woman if she told her to stay away from her and Peter. 

“Poppet?” Peggy said gently after watching Natasha stare out the window of the private plane taking them back to New York for nearly the whole flight. “What’s wrong, my darling?” 

Natasha sighed softly and turned her head to look at her mothers who sat across from her. “It’s nothing, Mum.” 

“Nope,” Angie said with a shake of her head. “That’s not a nothing look on your face. What’s up, angel?” 

“It’s nothing, really, it’s just that I invited a friend and her nephew to the expo.” Natasha told them. “I know it was stupid, it shouldn’t have, I was there on an assignment. But Peter, May’s nephew, is the biggest little Tony Stark fan, it’s really stinkin’ cute, and he really wanted to go and I got them tickets and then it all went to hell.” 

“Were they hurt?” Peggy asked, after sharing a look with her wife. 

Natasha shook her head. “Thankfully, no. They got separated for a few minutes that nearly gave May a heart attack, but they’re both fine.” 

“No one could have foreseen what happened at the expo, Natasha.” Peggy said gently but in a way that left no room for argument. “There was no reason to even suspect an attack would take place. This wasn’t your fault, Nattie. I’m sure your friend doesn’t blame you for what happened. You shouldn’t blame yourself either.” 

“I guess, maybe you're right.” Natasha sighed. 

Peggy snorted playfully. “Maybe I’m right, she says. It’s like my own daughter doesn’t even know me.” 

Natasha rolled her eyes and smiled, which is what her mother was going for. 

“So, Nattie, tell us about this new friend of yours.” Angie was smirking. 

“She’s just a friend, Ma.” Natasha replied with another roll of her eyes. 

Her mother was right. May didn’t blame her. In fact she’d been worried about her, and when she’d heard Natasha was home had come right down to make sure she was okay. May had hugged her tightly for maybe just a little longer than needed, and Natasha was okay with that. May reassured her that she and Peter were fine. Hell, Peter was on cloud nine because apparently he and Iron Man took out one of those robot things together. 

“Is that how those things always end?” May asked over a glass of wine while sitting on Natasha’s couch with an orange tabby cat in her lap. 

Natasha laughed and shook her head. “Not that I remember. When I was a kid they normally ended with my uncle being super hyper and a little drunk and my mother scolding him,” She smirked, cleared her throat, and put on a perfect British accent. “Oh, Howard, do stop acting like a baboon’s arse. I swear you’re worse than the children after these things.” 

May laughed and then said, “I thought you said your mother was from Brooklyn?” 

“My Ma is from Brooklyn.” Natasha replied as she refilled their glasses. “My Mum is from Hampstead England.” She beamed proudly at the woman sat at the other end of her couch. “My mothers have been together since before I came along. They got married the first time shortly after I was born, and as soon as it’s legally recognized they plan on renewing their vows here and in England.”

“That’s wonderful.” May replies with a warm smile. “It must be something special to have lasted so long, especially under such circumstances.” 

“Yeah,” Natasha smiled. “They’re pretty remarkable, even when they forget I’m grown and start throwing around parental threats.” 

May snorted. “That’s a right and a privilege we parents get to keep for the rest of our lives.” 

May stayed until it was time for Peter to come home from his friend’s house. Natasha felt such a huge wave of relief as she closed the door behind May, happy to know she still had her blossoming friendship with the other woman.


	3. Chapter 3

It’s not that Natasha minded when Clint crashed on her sofa between missions or while he waited for his travel arrangements home. She actually liked having him around during their downtime, he helped her to unwind and eased her out of mission mode. She looked forward to ordering pizza and playing cards or dominos while working through a case of craft beer, or getting chinese and settling into her sofa to watch movies and play drinking games. She liked taking him home to her mothers for dinner, and watching them fuss over him because he didn’t have his mom to fuss over him anymore and Natasha didn’t mind sharing hers with Clint every once in awhile. What Natasha did mind was that Clint always left her apartment smelling like man stink and aftershave, untidy, and a little bit gross. 

Erika Miklosa, one of Natasha’s favorite sopranos, sang Der Holle Rache Kocht in Meinem Herzen from act 2 of Die Zauberflöte, or the Magic Flute in english, while Natasha bopped around her apartment cleaning up after her weekend with Clint. She had on a pair of black Pink! boyfriend shorts and a heather blue sports crop, and softly sang along with the Queen of the Night as she sprayed down her sofa with febreze and wiped down her surfaces with lysol. She was so lost to the ease of cleaning and her opera that when she heard a knock at the door she didn’t even think when she went to answer it. 

“May.” Natasha said with a warm smile. “Hi!” 

“I come bearing the insane amount of candy you ordered from Peter’s school sale.” May said as she held up a box with ‘Ms. Natasha’s Candy’ scrawled across it in Peter’s handwriting. “You really didn’t have to order one of everything you know.” 

Natasha laughed as she invited May in, taking the box from her and carrying it over to the coffee table. “What I don’t keep I can give away. My Mum has a huge sweet tooth, not that she’d admit it.” 

The first thing that caught May’s attention was of course what Natasha was wearing and how it showed off her muscular and toned body, her pale skin, and a smattering of freckles here and there. The second thing she noticed were the bruises. On Natasha’s upper arm, where it looked as if she’d been grabbed hard enough to leave thick finger shaped marks. And on Natasha’s side, where it looked like she’d been kicked a couple of times. This wasn’t the first time May had noticed bruising on Natasha, though nothing quite as bad as the massive black and blue patch on the redhead’ side. May had also seen the other woman sporting a busted lip, a butterfly bandage near her eyebrow, and splinted fingers. She’d also taken note that Natasha had started having the injuries after she’d stopped working for her cousin, and the man with the dark blonde hair started staying over more often. 

“Nat,” May says the other woman’s name gently but with a firm tone. “You know that we’re friends, and I hope you know you can come to me and feel safe.” 

Natasha looked at May with a bit of a confused look but she smiled as well. “Of course I know we’re friends, May.” 

“Good.” May said with a nod and then came right out and asked, “Is your boyfriend doing that to you?” 

May was indicating her bruised side and upper arm and Natasha blinked. She'd completely forgotten about the guard at Roxxon who’d gotten in a lucky kick last week. Looking back up at May Natasha looked confused. Boyfriend? She blinked as she thought through what May was saying, and then, “Oh, you mean Clint? No, May, he’s my best friend, not my boyfriend. And the bruises,” She reached for a hoodie to put on. “They’re work related.”

“You get knocked around a lot as an executive assistant?” May asked, watching Natasha closely to see if the other woman was lying. She was genuinely concerned for Natasha’s well being and safety. 

“I sucked as an executive assistant.” Natasha replied. “I’m working for a personal security outfit these days, and sometimes things get a little rough.” She could tell May wasn’t quite believing her, and she couldn’t really blame her. Natasha couldn’t tell her the truth about being a SHIELD agent, so everything she told her was a half truth, except for this. “Trust me, May, if any man or woman that I was dating ever tried to lay a hand on me, they’d regret it real quick.”

For a few long moments May stood there looking at Natasha, reading her. She believed that it wasn’t the dark blonde haired man, Clint, but she also knew Natasha wasn’t being totally up front with her. Deciding to let it drop for now May relaxed. “I used to work for a women’s crisis hotline.” May explains. “I hope you don’t think I was being too nosey, sometimes old habits die hard.” 

“I don’t.” Natasha reassured. “It’s nice to know someone cared enough to ask.” 

When Natasha smiles at her May smiles back. “Are you listening to opera?” 

Natasha laughs. “Yeah, I have strange taste in music.” 

May’s smile grew as she admitted, “It’s not so strange, I’m a bit of a fan myself.” 

Natasha makes coffee and the pair sit at her small dining table and talk while sharing some of the candy May had brought. They talked about their favorite operas, the first ones they saw live, and how they got into it. For May it had been her great grandmother, and of course for Natasha it had been her Aunt Maria and her Martinelli grandfather. Natasha also talked about her love of ballet, and May admitted she had no dancing skill whatsoever. The conversation drifted towards their college years for a bit. Natasha said she’d studied language and linguistics, as well as international communications, while May had focused on urban planning and public management. Talking about college gave May a chance to admit to having a crush on a girl in her class, even confessing that she’d daringly kissed her one day after a late night study session. 

“What happened?” Natasha asked as she poured what was left of the coffee from the pot into the mugs. 

“I freaked out and ran off.” May answered with a shrug. “Convinced myself that I was just curious and it didn’t mean anything.” 

Natasha looked at May with a reassuring and warm smile as she asked, “Did it? Mean something?” 

“Looking back, yeah it did, which is why it scared me.” May confessed. “After I fell in love with Ben I didn’t give it a second thought, but after he died and I was trying to put my pieces back together, I decided not to ignore that piece of me anymore.” 

“I grew up in a loving home with two women who are insanely in love with one another.” Natasha says softly, a loving smile in place as she speaks of her mothers. “So me liking both men and women wasn’t ever something I didn’t know wasn’t normal. But I know my experience is the outlier. My Ma was raised catholic so coming to terms with herself was hard for her, and my Mum, well, while not as religious, she’s very English and for a long time was forced into being a proper lady and nearly lost herself trying to fit into the mold that she was expected to fit into. I find the three of you incredibly brave and strong for coming to terms with who you are and laying claim to it.” 

May blushed. “You make it sound heroic.” 

“It is.” Natasha smiles. “My Ma, she works with kids coming to terms with their sexiutaly, being true to yourself in a world that is trying to tell you not to be yourself, is hella brave.” 

They talked a little longer after that, until May had to leave to pick Peter up from his school club meeting. Several days later when May found herself in a jam, she had to work the weekend and Peter needed to go to the zoo for a science project, Natasha offered to take Peter and help him with his project. It had been a long time since Natasha had been to the zoo and as soon as they stepped through the front gates she was flooded with memories of time spent there with her Aunt Anna and Uncle Jarvis, Sharon, and her mothers. Peter’s project was to pick an animal and write about it’s exhibit and the ways the zoo educated people about the animal. He didn’t want to do anything that other kids in his class would do, so Natasha suggested they have a look at the reptiles, insects and other such creepy crawlies. Peter thought maybe he’d do something on a cool snake like a boa or a cobra, but then they were drawn to a zookeeper who was talking about spiders and letting people touch a tarantula. Peter was scared to touch it at first, but then Natasha let the zookeeper put the massive furry spider on her hand and it crawled up her arm, and Peter thought she was amazing.

Not only did Natasha let a spider crawl up her arm, but she told Peter all about the spiders they looked at in their exhibits, including the black widow spider which she found personally amusing. When she mentions that science and technology often takes inspiration from spiders, aspects of their webbing being used in high tech clothes for example, Peter looks at her with such awe that she’s fairly sure he likes her better than Tony now. “Do you have everything you need for your project now, little spider?” 

Peter nods. “I think so. It's going to be the best one!” 

“I know it will be because you’re a really smart and creative kid, Petey.” Natasha says as she puts her hand on his small shoulder. “Come on then, let's go find a place to eat before we hit up the office store for your supplies.”

As Natasha helped Peter with his school project she got the feeling that the boy was a lot like Tony in that he was advanced for his age when it came to his smarts, but unlike Tony, Peter was allowed to simply be a normal kid for his age. Which, given the amount of loss the boy had faced in his handful of years on this earth, was remarkable. Natasha didn’t know a lot of kids, pretty much just Clint’s, but Peter was clearly special with his pure heart and innocence. How could she not fall for the kid? 

When May finally got home from work Peter’s poster board was nearly finished and Natasha was covered in gossamer strands of cotton string from helping him make spider webs. Seeing Natasha like that with Peter sat beside her on the floor in front of the coffee table did something funny and unexpected to May’s heart. She hadn’t felt that kind of warmth since Ben died. It was a kind of warmth she wasn’t ready to deal with just yet, but it wasn’t unwelcome. She just wasn’t sure what to do with it yet. 

A couple of weeks later when Peter’s class project is selected for the school science fair and wins for his grade group, he can’t wait to tell Natasha and bolts from the elevator before May can stop him when it reaches Natasha’s floor. He rushes down the hallway with May telling him to wait for her but he doesn’t. He runs to Natasha’s door and knocks, bouncing on the balls of his feet as he waits, his ribbon and certificate in his hands ready to show her. Only it isn’t Natasha who opens the door. The woman Peter finds himself face to face with is an older, like way older, older than Aunt May old, woman who looks kind of strangely familiar but he isn’t sure why. Her hair is brown, with bits of silver, and her eyes are brown. She smiles softly at him but he’s suddenly very nervous. 

“Well, hello” Peggy greets the little boy at her daughter’s door. 

“Hi.” Peter replies, his voice soft and slightly trembling. “Hi, um, is Ms. Natasha home? I’m Peter. She’s my friend.” 

Peggy’s smile brightens. “I’ve heard quite a bit about you, Peter. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you. I’m Mrs. Carter, I’m Natasha’s Mum.” Turning a bit Peggy calls out into the apartment, “Nattie, you have a visitor at the door.” 

When Natasha appeared over her mother’s shoulder she instantly chuckled at the look of awe on Peter’s face as he looked at her mother. “Hey little spider, what’s up?” 

When the woman said her name it clicked for Peter and his eyes went wide. “She’s in my history book.” Peter whispers as he looks at Natasha and then back at Peggy. 

Natasha laughs. “Is she? You’ll have to show me.” When May finally arrives, stepping up behind her nephew she puts her hands on his shoulders as if to keep him from sprinting off again, “Hi May.” 

“I’m so sorry.” May says with a shake of her head and an amused smile. “He was excited to show you his science award. We’re interrupting, we’ll come back later.” 

The boy blinks and then remembers why he was there and his excitement is back. He holds up his ribbon and certificate and says, “Nat look!” Before his aunt can pull him away from Natasha’s door. “My spider project won the science fair!” 

Natasha held out her hand for a high five which Peter had to jump up to reach. “That’s awesome little spider! You worked so hard on it and I’m so proud of you.”

“One of my prizes was getting to use the school’s new 3D printer.” Peter rushes on as he hands his ribbon and certificate to his aunt. Then he shoves his hand into the pocket of his hoodie and pulls out a small 3D printed black widow spider attached to a key chain. “I made this for you, to say thank you for helping me.” 

“Oh Petey.” Natasha said as she took the gift and accepted the hug that came with it. “I love it, buddy, thank you.” 

“I know you have better manners than this, angel.” Angie’s voice called out from inside the apartment. “Are you just gonna keep your friends in the hallway or invite them in and introduce everyone?” 

“Sorry Ma.” Natasha replies with a roll of her eyes and a smile for May. She invites May in, Peter still attached to her side, and introduces everyone. “May, these are my mothers, Margaret and Angela Martinelli-Carter. Mothers, this is May Parker and her nephew Peter.” 

“It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, dear.” Peggy says as she shakes the younger woman’s hand. “Natasha’s told us a lot about you two.” 

“It’s nice to meet you both as well, Mrs. Carter.” May replies warmly. 

Angie smiles at the younger woman and the small boy. “Nattie and I are making raviolis from scratch, would you like to join us for dinner?” 

“Thank you, but Peter and I already have plans.” May replies. 

Peter looks over at his aunt with a bit of a pout. “But Aunt May, I wanted Nat to come, she helped me with my project, she should get to celebrate too.” 

“How about we hit up Serendipity3 this weekend to celebrate?” Natasha offers up. “My treat.” 

Peter liked that idea and was happy to agree to it which made Natasha smile. The way Natasha smiled for Peter and for May did not go unnoticed by her mothers, which of course Angie pounced on once May and Peter had said their goodbyes and headed off to their own evening plans. 

“May seems really nice, angel.” Angie said as she and Natasha returned to Natasha’s tiny kitchen. 

“She is.” Natasha replied with a warm smile. She then spends ten whole minutes talking about May and only stops when she notices the way her mother is looking at her. “What?” 

“You like her.” Angie says bluntly and with a huge smirk. “You should ask her out.” 

Natasha groans and shakes her head. “Ma, we’re just friends.” 

Angie hums in that way that means yeah right. 

“Angie love, leave her alone.” Peggy says as she walks into the room to refill her wine glass. 

“Oh come on, English.” Angie whines softly, playfully. “You can’t say you didn’t see it.” 

“See what?” Natasha asks, her eyes darting between her mothers. 

“What we may or may not have seen between them doesn’t matter.” Peggy’s voice is firm but just as playful as Angie’s whine. “It’s what Nattie sees, and if she sees May as just a friend, leave it be.” 

“But it’s been forever since she’s had anyone steady.” Angie continues. 

“She is standing right here.” Natasha grunts. 

Angie pats Natasha’s cheek. “Yeah, we know.” She smirks, and taps the tip of her daughter’s nose. “We just want you to find some happiness, Nattie.”

“My life really isn’t accommodating to long term lasting relationships, Ma.” Natasha tells her with a long sigh. 

“Bullshit.” Angie replies as she points her sauce covered wooden spoon at her wife. “Your mother is proof it can be done. You just need to find the right person, angel.” 

Natasha smiles and kisses her mother’s cheek. “But Mum found you, Ma, and you’re one of a kind. So that’s not really a fair example.” 

Angie rolls her eyes but she’s laughing. “Maybe you should try using that Carter charm on May Parker and see where it gets you.” 

“Ma.” Natasha groans again.


	4. Chapter 4

It wasn’t all that hard for Angie to find out more about May Parker, including where she worked. With that bit of information she started formulating a plan. What was a bit harder was finding out if and when May ever left the office during the day. That took a bit of her acting skill and a few tricks she’d picked up from being married to Peggy Carter for several decades. Once she was able to gather the information all Angie had to do was call Natasha and ask her out to lunch. The restaurant Angie picked was just down the street from May’s office building, and just so happened to have the Thursday special that May treated herself too on the one day of the week she bought lunch instead of bringing it from home. If Natasha hadn’t been able to make it on a Thursday, Angie’s back up plan was to ambush May in the park. Apparently on nice days she had her brought from home packed lunch in the park. The receptionist at May’s office was really chatty when the office was slow. 

They hadn’t been sitting at their table on the sidewalk patio in the front of the restaurant very long when Angie dared a quick smirk before shifting her expression as she seemingly just happened to glance over the top of her menu in time to see who was walking their way. “Angel, isn’t that your friend?” 

Natasha looked up and over her shoulder and an instant smile bloomed on her lips. That smile only grew brighter when May smiled back and waved. “Hey May.” 

“Hiya Nat.” May greeted as she walked up to the black iron fence separating the patio from the busy sidewalk. “Hello Mrs. Carter. It’s good to see you again.” 

“Hello dear.” Angie greeted brightly. “What a wonderful surprise running into you here.” 

May smiled. “I work nearby, I was just heading here in fact, for lunch.” 

“Well in that case you just gotta join us, hon.” Angie beamed at the younger woman. 

May was quick to protest with a shake of her head and a hand held up. “Thank you Mrs. Carter, but I don’t want to intrude.” 

“My little Christmas angel has promised me the whole day together.” Angie beamed. She was generally thrilled to be spending the day out with her little girl. It had been awhile since they’d gotten the chance to just hang out and enjoy each others’ company. “I’m sure she wouldn’t mind sharing for an hour or so. Would you, angel?” 

“No, of course not.” Natasha replied, still smiling at May but giving her mother a bit of side eye. Something in Natasha’s gut was telling her something was up, she just couldn’t put her finger on it yet. “If you have the time to stick around May, please, join us.” 

“Well, if you’re sure.” May replies, returning Natasha’s smile. 

It was taking all of Angie’s acting skill to keep from wiggling excitedly in her seat as they waited for May to enter the restaurant and make her way to their table. As soon as May was seated, she and Natasha easily began a conversation when May asked if she was crashing a Mama and Nat date, or if Peggy would be joining them as well. Natasha explained that two days a week her Mum volunteered at the V.A. working with vets. Peggy might have taken an early retirement, but she still kept herself busy, active, and in service. Angie asked about Peter, and May gladly talked about how he was doing. Even teasing Natasha that the next time she got Peter hyped up on sugar she could stick around and deal with his hyperactivity and the pending cranky crash. 

When May asked what their plans were for the rest of the afternoon Angie finally had the opening she was looking for. “Shopping. I’m treating Nattie to a new dress for my opening night next week.” She smiled warmly. “One of the shows I originated back when Nattie was a baby is getting a revival. I was the lead back then, but this time around I’m playing the mother role.” Angie’s expression lit up as if she had just had the most randomly sudden brilliant idea. “May dear, you should come to opening night! I would love it if you would come as my guest. In fact I insist. You’ll be Nattie’s plus one.” 

And there it was, there was the reason Natasha’s instincts were picking up something fishy. Her mother was playing matchmaker! 

“That’s sweet of you Mrs. Carter but…” May began. 

“Please, hon, it’s just Angie.” Angie cut in, and then before May could try to refuse again Angie was already making plans. She and Peggy would treat the girls to dinner before the show, and then afterwards they would join them for drinks at the after party. Angie talked so quickly and so much that May’s lunch hour was over and she had to get back to work, and since she didn’t have time to refuse in a polite way she agreed to go. 

Once they were alone and Natasha was sure May wouldn’t backtrack she crossed her arms over her chest, sat back in her chair, and glared at her mother. 

“Oh, don’t look at me like that.” Angie huffed at the girl while reaching for her glass of iced tea. 

“Like what?” Natasha grumbled. She wasn’t quite pouting but it was close, if she weren’t so annoyed and slightly angry, she’d be pouting. 

“You’ve got the same look on your face that your mother gets when she’s, as she says, cross with me.” Angie replied. 

“What the hell was that, Ma?” Natasha demanded. “You’re meddling!” 

“I am not!” Angie argued and waved her hand in the air dismissively. “It was just a little matchmaking.” 

“Matchmaking is meddling.” Natasha grumbled. “May and I are just friends, Ma!” 

Angie snorted. “Please, angel, friends don’t look at each other like that.” 

“Like what?” Natasha was starting to feel really called out and she didn’t like it. 

“Like you really want to know what she looks like under the long skirt and puffy top.” Angie replies bluntly as she slips her credit card into the bill folder. 

Natasha’s cheeks blushed nearly as red as her hair. “Ma!’ 

“That’s enough of that tone, little girl.” Angie warned, fixing her daughter with a look that Natasha knew meant not to push. 

Natasha grumbled, glared, and pouted even as she followed her mother out of the restaurant that she now knew was picked for its proximity to May’s office. “How did you even pull this off? I mean, what were the chances May was coming to the very restaurant we were for us to just happen to run into her?” Angie just grinned at her girl all innocent like and Natasha groaned and rolled her eyes as she muttered, “Yenta.”

“What was that angel?” Angie asked, giving Natasha a look. She was not afraid to give her grown daughter’s rear end a smack in public if she didn’t keep the sass in check. 

“You set me up on a date with my friend without mine or May’s consent.” Natasha grumbled as she kicked at a random chunk of concrete on the sidewalk as they made their way towards the corner. “What if May doesn’t even know it’s meant to be a date? What if she does and she doesn’t really want to do it, she’s just doing it because you bullied her into it?” 

“It doesn’t have to be a date, Nattie.” Angie said gently as they walked down the street together. “And I didn’t bully her into it, she could have spoken up and refused.” 

“You barely let her get a word in, Ma.” Natasha huffed. “And dinner before the show your treat?” Natasha continued, looking at her mother with a look that said she wasn’t sure if she wanted to kill her or thank her. “You don’t eat before a show, Ma. You eat after. And on opening nights, Mum brings you something to nibble on and whatever new charm she’s gotten for your bracelet.” 

Angie’s first opening night on stage Peggy had shown up at the shabby little off Broadway theater with a couple of chicken salad sandwiches from the automat, herbal tea with lemon and honey, and a beautiful gold charm bracelet with a single charm, a little diamond encrusted star. Every opening night since then Peggy had come to the theater with something light to eat, tea for Angie’s voice, and a new charm for her bracelet. Angie smiled fondly, a look of pure and unwavering love in her blue-green eyes for her English. 

Then Angie turned to her daughter with a straight face and said, “Really Natasha you’re being overly dramatic about this. I swear I have no idea where you get your drama queen tendicanies.” 

Natasha stopped dead in her tracks and just stared at her mother before finally shaking her head, throwing her hands up in the air, and saying, “I’m putting you in whatever Brooklyn’s equivalent of Shady Pines is.” 

Angie laughed as she linked arms with her daughter and tugged her gently back into a forward walking momentum. “I’ll just burn it down with a hot plate and come live with you and May and Peter.” She looked absolutely delighted with herself. “Where is your mother if you’re putting me in a home?” 

“A really nice condo in Boca because she doesn’t meddle in my life.” Natasha answered with a smirk as she laid her hand on her mother’s hand which rested on her arm.

“She meddles, she just doesn’t do it so openly.” Angie laughs. They walked for a bit longer since it was so nice out and then hailed a cab to Bloomingdale’s. While they’re in the back of the cab Angie asks, “How long has it been since you were in a serious relationship, Nattie?” 

Natasha sighed. She should have figured her mother wouldn’t drop this. “I don’t don’t, Ma. D.J. I guess.”

Angie frowned. “Sweetheart, D.J. was years ago.” 

“I know.” Natasha turned to look out the window and watch the world go by. “If I couldn’t make it work with someone in a similar field of work to my own, then what chance do I have at making it work with a civilian?” She shook her head and turned to look at her mother. “I can’t ask May to put up with me and my job.” 

“I’ll be straight with you angel,” Angie began, rolling her eyes when Natasha snorted at the word straight. “Lovin’ your mother was always easy for me, but livin’ with what she did for a livin’ wasn’t. I couldn’t even begin to count how many nights I couldn’t sleep because I was worried or scared to death wonderin’ where she was, what she was doin’, and if she were safe. There would be times when she was gone for days, weeks, even months sometimes, and I’d swear to myself I was done, I wasn’t goin’ to keep waitin’ and worryin’; pacin’ the floors every night waitin’ on the phone to ring to hear her voice tell me she’s ok, or hear someone else’s tell me she ain’t comin’ home this time.” Angie’s voice cracked a bit. She felt her daughter take her hand and squeeze. “There were times when Peg and I fought about it, and a couple of times those fights got pretty ugly.” Angie had to take a moment, to let the memories come and go before she could continue. There was still a bit of sting whenever she’d think about the early days, the days when Peggy was still in the field, and they were trying to navigate their relationship between missions and battlefronts. 

Slipping her hand from Natasha’s, Angie reached over and put it on her daughter’s knee and looked into her eyes when she was finally able to continue. “But we always managed to settle things between us, we always came out of it stronger and still together, because we loved each other. There has never been a single second in my life with her, that I have ever regretted lovin’ Peggy Carter. There has never been a prayer said where I haven’t thanked God for leadin’ her into my automat, and into my life. I thank him every chance I get for her, and you, and our life together.” She smiled as she raised her hand to cup her daughter’s cheek. “That’s what I want for you Nattie, and my gut’s tellin’ me that May’s your chance to have it.” 

“How does your gut know that?” Natasha asked, her voice soft as she took in everything her mother had said. She was and always would be in awe of the love between her mothers, and she would love nothing more than to have a fraction of that with someone. She just honestly didn’t know how that could be done. 

“Because you look at May the way your Mum used to look at me every time she walked into the L&L.” Angie beamed as she recalled the look. “That look that says seeing her brings you joy because you’re starting to have feelings for her, and then a few seconds later it shifts into a look that says, shit I’m starting to have feelings for her when I really shouldn’t. You’re Mum, she fought against the way she felt for a long time too, angel, but even the almighty Peggy Carter finally realized she needed to allow herself to be happy and to have a life outside of her mission.” 

“May has a kid, Ma.” Natasha says softly. “I wouldn’t just be asking her to live with what I do.” 

“And what were you?” Angie snorted. “A house plant? Stop making excuses, Natasha. Baby, you can have a life outside of what you do, you just gotta want it and be willing to work for it. And baby girl, I’m telling you, for what it’s worth, I think you think deep down that May’s worth working for it.” 

Back in May’s office she sat at her desk looking a bit dazed and confused. She was replaying lunch over and over in her mind. She’d be lying to herself if she didn’t admit that she found Natasha not only attractive but kind, sweet, funny, strong, brave, good hearted, and wonderful when it came to Peter. She may or may not have had a few passing thoughts about what it would be like to go out with her, and there may have been a night or two when she let herself wonder what it would be like to touch her, to be touched by her. 

“May?” May’s friend and co-worker said as she stood beside May’s desk looking concerned. “Hey, May, you ok?” 

May blinked. Turning her head to look up she said, “Hmm, what? Oh, Carmen, yes, yeah, I’m fine. Did you need something?” 

“You looked like you were a million miles away.” Carmen replied, shaking her head to answer the question about needing something. “You sure you’re ok?” 

“I’m fine, really.” May laughed as she sat back in her hair. She bit her lip for a moment and then sat up again and said in a soft voice so no one would overhear. “I think my friend’s mother just set us up on a date.” 

“May! That’s great!” Carmen cheered. “About damn time, woman. Glad someone decided to be proactive in your love life, because you’d die an old maid if left to do it on your own.” 

May rolled her eyes. “I’ve dated, and it’s not like I’ve been celibate since Ben died.” 

“Yeah, but no one’s ever made you look like that before.” Carmen replied. “At least not from what I’ve seen.” 

“How do I look?” May asked, furrowing her brow. She and Carmen had started at the company together years ago and became good friends. They’d even started talking about starting up a non-profit of their own someday. Carmen had been there for May when Ben died, and as she navigated her new life as a single parent. She’d also been the one May had tested the hole coming out to thing on, and Carmen’s responce had been to take May to a lesbian bar and even tried to play wingwoman for her. If May had a funny look about her, then Carmen would have been the one to notice. 

Carmen smiled. “Happy, excited, scared to fucking death. Ya know, like maybe this could be something real, something good, something you want, and all of that terrifies you.” 

Something she wants. It had been a long time since May had gone after something she really truly wanted for herself. Biting her lip again, she thought about it and smiled. “I’m going to need a new dress. What do you wear to an opening night on Broadway?” 

Carmen whisled, impressed. “We’ll go shopping this weekend.” 

Peggy is sitting in her chair, her legs curled up under her, her reading glasses perched on her nose, and a new novel in her hands when she hears the front door open and close. “Love, are you home?” 

“Yeah English it’s us.” Angie’s bright voice calls out in reply. 

“Us?” Peggy repeats as she looked up from her book and out towards the doorway of the living room. She waits the few moments it takes for Angie, and to her delight Natasha, to appear, and smiles happily. “Hello poppet.” 

Natasha smiles at her mother as she walks over and kisses Peggy’s cheek. “Hiya Mum.” 

“Did you two have a nice day together?” Peggy asks, as she watches her wife flop onto the sofa while Natasha leans against her chair and crosses her arms. Natasha speaks in Russian and Peggy snorts a laugh. 

“What did you just say about me?” Angie demands of her child before looking at her wife and asking, “What did she just say about me?”

“Angie love, what have you done?” Peggy asked her wife as she laughs while shifting in her chair so Natasha can perch on the arm. 

“Nothing.” Angie huffed, crossing her arms over her chest and leaning back into the sofa as she put her stocking feet up on the coffee table. “I just took a little initiative is all.” 

“She set me up on a date with May.” Natasha ratted her out. At the surprised look on Peggy’s face she asked, “You didn’t know what she was up too?” 

Peggy shook her head. “Of course not darling, I would have discouraged her otherwise.” 

“You didn’t help her dig so far into May’s business she knew what day and time May had lunch at this one particular restaurant on this one particular day?” Natasha asked her mother the master spy. She found it a little hard to believe that Peggy hadn’t helped. 

“It wasn’t all that hard.” Angie said dismissively and then quickly changed the subject before her wife could scold her for meddling in their daughter’s love life. “Nattie hasn’t had a serious relationship since she dated your ex’s son. She needed a little push, so I pushed, I’m her Ma, it’s my job.” 

“First off, Daniel and I were never ex’s.” Peggy replies. She rested her arm on Natasha’ thigh and was absentmindedly rubbing her thumb over her daughter’s knee in a soothing manner. “We were colleagues, and at one point, even friends until…” 

“He decided to be a jerk about you not being able to return his feelings because you were in love with someone else, who just so happened to be another woman.” Angie’s voice took on a bit of an edge, still not over how Peggy had been treated. 

“Water under the bridge, my love.” Peggy said gently, giving her wife a smile that showed appreciation for still feeling the need to defend her honor. “Secondly,” She turned her focus to Natasha, looking up at her daughter. “What about Matthew? That wasn’t serious?” 

“Murdock?” Natasha shook her head and snorted softly. “No, Matt and I were just killing time together, scratching an itch for one another. He's too hung up on the one that got away and he can never really have to do serious with anyone else. He’ll try, lord knows he’ll try, but it never works out.” 

“It will work out with May.” Angie says with confidence. 

“Ease up a little bit, darling.” Peggy advises her wife. “You’ve set the ball rolling, now allow them to figure things out from here.” 

The first step to figuring things out was to determine whether this was actually a date. Once back in her apartment after having dinner with her parents Natasha must have picked up her phone fifty times with the intention of texting May. She tried over and over to compose a message, but had no idea what to say. Leaning back into her sofa she let her head fall back. When she turned it to the side she found herself nose to nose with Goose. “Don’t suppose you have any ideas? Cause I’m actually thinking of asking Tony for advice.” Goose meowed at her and she sighed. “Yeah, my family’s meddled enough. I’m a big girl, I can do this myself.” 

Snatching up her phone Natasha texted, ‘I feel like I should apologize for my meddling mother. She set us up to run into you.’ She sent it, then set her phone down, and then went to the kitchen to grab a beer. She could hear the alert of a new message as she returned and made herself count to ninety before picking it up to check it. 

‘You don’t have to apologize. I’ve got one too ya know. First time I brought Ben home my Ma told him my ring size.’ May texted back. 

Natasha snorted. ‘I swear I can normally ask a girl out without my mama’s help.’ 

‘And I can tell a matchmaker to stuff it when I want to.’ May replied. 

‘So, we both actually want this to be a date?’ It took a few minutes for Natasha to hit send after tapping out her response. 

May’s reply was simple. ‘Yes.’ 

Natasha had the biggest smile on her lips as her heart sped up and she let out a little whoop that made Goose jump off the back of the sofa and head into the bedroom. They spent about ten minutes deciding where to have dinner, though it was mostly May trying to convince Natasha not to punish her mother by picking an overly expensive restaurant. ‘Hey May?’ 

‘Yeah?’ May replied. 

‘I’ll make you cannoli if you tell my Ma to stuff it.’ Natasha sent it with a wicked grin. 

‘Not a chance you brat!’ In her apartment several floors up May was laughing. ‘Didn’t I just explain that I know how Italian mothers work? I ain’t stupid!’ 

Natasha laughed. 

The day of Angie’s opening night Natasha left work early so she could get her hair and nails done. Natasha’s hair was shoulder length these days and she had decided to put some curls into it, something similar to how her mothers used to wear their hair, but she didn’t want to put the work into doing it herself so she went to a salon instead. Then she headed back to her apartment to get dressed and do her make-up. The dress she’d gotten while shopping with her Ma was a rich green that Angie had said brought out more of the green in Natasha’s eyes. Doubling down on making her eyes pop because May had mentioned once that she loved the intriguing coloring of Natasha’s eyes, she’d spent maybe a little too much time getting the perfect smokey eye with her green eyeshadows. The dress went to just below Natasha’s knee and clung to just the right places to show off her curves. May was two inches taller than Natasha, so she was careful about picking out her heels, wanting to be at least close in height. 

Several floors up May was slipping into a light gray halter dress that cinched at her waist before flowing over her hips and down her legs to her calves. She was nervous, more nervous than she had been over a date in a very long time. Which made it harder to do her make-up with a steady hand. She was also a little on edge because she hadn’t told Peter she was going on a date, let alone a date with Natasha. He adored Natasha, but wasn’t hot about the idea of her dating. He was young and struggled with the idea of her with anyone but Ben, and yet he wanted her to be happy and not alone. So until May was sure where this thing sparking between her and Natasha was going, May wasn’t going to mention it to her nephew. He was spending the night at Ned’s, so he wouldn’t even need to know she was out, let alone with who. 

Natasha stood outside May’s door with one hand pressed against her nervous stomach as the other reached out to knock. She took a deep breath as she waited on May to open the door, and then let it out slowly. When the door opened Natasha was smiling and ready to greet her date, but as soon as she laid eyes on May she found words escaping her. She let her blue-green gaze rake over the other woman and then let out a soft, “Wow.” 

May blushed. She bit her lip through a smile as she took the redhead in. “Wow’s a good word.” 

“May.” Natasha managed. “You look amazing.” 

“Thank you.” May’s blush deepened. “So do you. I can see so much more green in your eyes.”

Natasha smiled. The pair stood there for several awkward but oddly comfortable moments before Natasha managed to think and ask, “Ready to go?” 

May nods, grabs her clutch and locks the door to her apartment. They head down to a waiting town car that takes them to a restaurant with a view of Broadway. It was a little strange at first, the uneasy nervousness between them. They talked all the time, enjoyed each other’s company all the time, but this was something different. Tonight could go off in so many directions, and they were both well aware of that. It could turn out that they were just better off as friends, or the sparks they’d both felt could ignite into something more, or it could ruin what was a really good friendship. 

“Are you overthinking this as much as I am?” May asked as she turned to look at Natasha as the city passed by their tinted windows. 

Natasha laughed softly as she nodded. “Yeah.” She took a deep breath and shifted in her seat so she was angled toward May a bit more. “I don’t have a lot of friends outside my work. Hell, even my cousin Sharon works for the same company. So your friendship means a lot to me.” 

“Yours means a lot to me too, Nat.” May replies with a warm smile. “If I’m honest, and this might be a bit much for a first date, but the last person I clicked with so easily was Ben. So, this is all a bit frightening.” 

“If we’re laying the heavy stuff out on the table up front then, I’ve never come close to what you must have had with Ben.” Natasha admits. “But I’d like to, it’s just, well, I want just a fraction of what my mothers have.” Natasha said honestly. “And so far, no one’s come even close to making me feel a sliver of that.” 

“No pressure,” May teases, but her smile is warm as she reaches for Natasha’s hand. “Or anything.” She laughs. “You talk about them like they're an epic love story.” 

Natasha blushes. “I always thought they were.” 

When they arrive at the restaurant they are shown to a table near the floor to ceiling windows and Natasha is instantly captivated by the way the lights of the Broadway signs outside reflect like multi-colored stars in May’s dark eyes. They order drinks and gaze out at the spectacle view as they talk about the shows they’ve seen and the ones they want to see. 

“Ma started taking me to shows as soon as I was old enough to sit through to at least intermission.” Natasha’s smile was warm and amused. “Some of the shows she maybe should have waited on.” She laughed. “Cats gave me nightmares for years.” 

“I never understood Cats.” May admits. 

Natasha laughed again. “I don’t think anyone really understands Cats.”

“I was always way more into ballet than theater, and Ma couldn’t have been more supportive and proud, but the look on her face when I was Maureen in my high school’s production of Rent, I thought she was going to explode she was so happy.” Natasha tells May when she’s asked if she ever thought of following in her mother’s stage shoes. Natasha is sure that her mothers would have prefered if she’d followed in Angie’s footsteps rather than Peggy’s, but that was a conversation for later. Natasha didn’t want to deal with that particular truth just yet. 

Over dinner they talk about what it was like for them growing up in Brooklyn. May looks at Natasha with wide shocked eyes. “How the hell did you grow up in Brooklyn and not play stickball in the street?”

Natasha laughed, and shrugged. “We moved to D.C. when I was ten?” 

They decided to walk to the theater after leaving the restaurant since it wasn’t far and they still had time. They continued to talk, but didn’t feel the need to fill the silence when it came. When they first started walking they walked side by side, close enough to talk but with a comfortable distance between them. At some point May’s hand had made it into Natasha’s, and she couldn’t help but smile as they walked closer together. When they made it inside the theater, and as they were shown to their third row center seats where Peggy waited for them, Natasha’s hand had found its way to the small of May’s back. Natasha greeted her mother with a hug and kiss to her cheek, and it made May smile. 

As they settled into their seats May leaned in close and spoke softly. “This is the first time I’ve been on a date with a chaperone.” 

Natasha laughed softly. “Does she still count as one half way through the date?” 

The show was amazing and Angie got a standing ovation with her wife and daughter cheering the loudest. Afterward the cast, crew, and invited guests gathered for an opening night after party. Natasha’s hand barely left May’s, which her mothers noticed. Natasha couldn’t tell what Angie had been more proud of, her show or her matchmaking? By the time the pair makes it back to their apartment building it’s the wee hours of the morning, and May is giggling from champagne and sleepiness. They linger in the open doorway of May’s apartment, saying goodnight. May steps closer, removing any personal space between them. Natasha reaches out and once again places her hand on the small of May’s back, drawing her closer. May reaches up and slides her hand along Natasha’s jaw to the back of her neck as she leans in. Natasha finally gets to answer the question, what would it be like to kiss May Parker? 

The answer is; that it’s wonderful.


	5. Chapter 5

They’d been dating for a couple of weeks when Natasha asked May to go to the opera. It was the most formal date they’d been on since their first, with everything in between being more relaxed and laid back. They’d gone to the movies, and dancing, and even spent an evening drinking and playing pool as they carefully maneuvered their relationship from simply friendship to something more, something deeper. Each time an apartment door opened, be it her own or May’s, Natasha’s breath was taken away by the smile on May’s lips, the brightness of her eyes, and whatever she happened to be wearing. A long flowy skirt and top, a colorful mini-dress, or jeans and a leather halter top under a leather jacket, it didn’t matter what May had on it fueled Natasha’s desire to touch her, to see what lay under the cotten, denim, and leather. 

They were taking things slowly. There were plenty of careful caresses and long kisses, fingers lost in locks of rich chocolate or firey red, a strong thigh pressed between legs to test the waters, but they always stopped short of crossing that final line. They were being cautious, neither wanting to rush things in fear of it all going to hell. The opera though, with the romance and elegance of it, seemed to draw the line in the sand and dared them to cross it. Peter was at a weekend science camp, which meant May had no excuse not to stay when Natasha asked her too. Not that May wanted to make an excuse to leave, she was done with excuses. Natasha was wearing a vintage style grecian dress in a rich blushed pink that reminded May of the color of Natasha’s skin when she was flushed. It left the other woman’s pale neck and collar bones exposed, while offering just a teasing hint of cleavage. May had been fighting the urge to trail her fingertips along the outline made by the dress all night. 

Once inside of her apartment Natasha fetched a bottle of wine and two glasses. She was well aware that May’s eyes were on her, and it made her smile. She’d been stealing glances of May in her long burgundy dress all night long, her mind flooding with all the different ways she could take it off the other woman. After pouring them each a glass of wine, Natasha held one of the glasses out to May, an inviting smile on her painted lips. 

May took the glass with a smile of her own. She locked eyes with Natasha, warm brown searching for the go ahead in the mesmerizing blue-green of the redhead standing within arms reach. Raising the wine glass to her lips, May sipped it and then set it down on the coffee table before closing the distance between herself and Natasha. 

Natasha set her wine glass aside as well, then reached out as May drew closer, her hands sliding onto May’s hips. “Are you sure this is what you want, May?” 

“I’m sure you’re what I want.” May replies as she slides her hands behind Natasha’s neck to pull her into a kiss. 

Letting her hands slide over May’s hips and down to her rear end, Natasha tugged her closer so that there was no space between their bodies. With the grace and ease that came from her profession, Natasha guided them nimbly to her bedroom. Natasha’s dress is the first to hit the floor, leaving the redhead standing in only her blush pink lace panties and heels. May had run her fingers over her skin, along the neckline of her dress, before gliding the fabric over her shoulders until the dress was simply falling from her body. May’s darkening eyes raked over every inch of pale skin and her breath hitched, causing Natasha to blush. May smiled as she watched the warm flush add a hint of color to the other woman’s skin, and she couldn’t help but bite her lip when her gaze finally met Natasha’s once again. 

Reaching out Natasha pulled May into a heated kiss, and then reached behind her new lover to unzip May’s dress so it could join hers on the floor. Their first round is fueled by pent up desire, it’s a little awkward, neither knowing the others likes and dislikes, but they are both quick learners. They both get there, it’s pleasurable, but hardly satisfying. They both want more, and have all night to map out each other's bodies, to learn which patch of skin will make the other moan when bitten, how it feels to sink fingers into curves, who likes to have her hair pulled. It isn’t until May’s nipping at her pelvic bone, her touch ghosting over her lower stomach, that Natasha thinks about her scars. The room is dark, the only light coming in from the street lights outside her window and a sliver of moonlight from the waning crescent moon as it descends in it’s westward journey through the night sky. Maybe May hadn’t noticed the various white, faded pink, and red raised marks that marred the landscape of her pale skin. They weren’t the kind of scars you got from working personal security. Natasha should have told May what she could of the truth before she let this happen, but it was too late now. Pushing the thought of having that conversation out of her thoughts, Natasha reached down to draw May back up her body to kiss her, taking control of the situation, and focusing on May instead. 

If May noticed the scars, and really how could she have not, she didn’t say anything. With their relationship existing on this new more intimate level, Natahsa knew she had to be honest with May, and she needed to do it before they decided to come clean to Peter about them. Natasha just had no idea how to go about this. She obviously knew that the best source of advice on the matter would be her Mum, but her mothers were currently on a much needed and long overdue vacation on a sandy beach in Greece. So until they got home she would have to find a suitable fill in. Shooting off a text to Sharon asking where she was in the world at the moment, she was surprised to get a reply saying she was in D.C. After asking if she had some free time this weekend and getting confirmation that Sharon did indeed have some downtime, Natasha made plans for a girl cousin weekend. 

Friday night was spent in Sharon’s apartment with Sharon in cozy lounge pants and an old oversized CBGB t-shirt that Natasha was pretty sure was Tony’s, while she herself wore baby blue Pink! shorts and a faded Ducktales tank top. They ordered pizza and wings, after returning from the store with a variety of local craft beers and a bottle of Maker's Mark. The food was long gone, and most of the beer was too, before Natasha finally brought up what she wanted to talk about. 

“I need to tell May the truth.” Natasha said as she leaned back against Sharon as they lounged on Sharon’s sofa. “About what I do.” 

“You want to tell her that you’re a spy for a secret international agency founded by your mother to handle threats so scary and out there that they make the FBI, CIA, MI5 and 6, the Mossad, and the KGB shit their pants?” Sharon raises an eyebrow as she absentmindedly played with Natasha’s hair.

Natasha rolled her eyes.”Well, when you put it like that.” 

“Now I understand the bottle of whisky.” Sharon says as she stretches to reach for the bottle without dislodging her cousin. “It must be serious between you two.” 

“I think it’s heading that way.” Natasha says as she chews on her lip. “I need to tell her before we can decide to let it keep going that way.”

Sharon poured them each a shot of the whisky and handed one to Natasha as she said, “You’re scared. You don’t think she’ll take it well?” 

“That I’m an international security agent?” Natasha sighs as she sits up and shifts around so she and Sharon are face to face. “No, I’m afraid she won’t.” Sharon’s expression was soft as it gently, wordlessly, asked why not? “May’s husband Ben, he was Peter’s father’s brother, he was a cop. Had his gold shield just over a year when he was killed in the line of duty.”

“And you don’t think May can handle being with another person who could die in service?” Sharon asked, reaching for her cousin’s free hand to give it a squeeze. 

“It’s not that I don’t think she could handle it, it’s more like, what right do I have to ask her to?” Natasha replied. 

Sharon downed her shot while watching Natasha down hers. “You’ve already asked her to do it, Nattie. You’re dating her, you’re sleeping with her, she’s already dealing with it, she just doesn’t know she is.” 

Natasha moaned while she poured herself another drink. “I should have told her sooner, I should have told her before we had sex, before we decided Ma’s matchmaking was a date.” 

“Maybe,” Sharon shrugs. “But telling her, telling anyone you’re in a relastionship with, about SHIELD is a huge fucking deal, Nattie. There’s a reason so many of us date and fuck within the agency.” 

“And how’s that working out for you, cuz?” Natasha asks, knowing that Sharon hasn’t had the best luck in that department. 

“I didn’t say it was ideal.” Sharon huffed before taking another shot. “It has its own complications, which is why for the time being I’ve decide to keep my sex life in the nightstand drawer.”

Natasha snorted which caused her to choke on the glup of whisky she’d just taken. Once she cleared her airways with a few snickering coughs she managed to tease, “Oh, poor Shar-bear, home alone with her thick purple….” 

Sharon slammed a pillow into the side of her cousin’s head before Natasha could finish. “Shut up, Nattie-cat.” 

They talked and teased for most of the night. At some point they moved from Sharon’s sofa in the living room to her bed in her bedroom, and sometime before dawn the Carter cousins fell asleep together in the same bed just like when they were little girls. And although they no longer clutched Dum Dum bear and Benny the Bobby Bunny (Sharon’s stuffed rabbit, who was dressed like a London police bobby, a gift from her father when she was just a baby) the girls still fell asleep with their pinkies linked, hands resting on the mattress space between them. 

Somehow the stars aligned on Saturday night, and what was supposed to be drinks with Maria Hill, turned into a ladies of SHIELD girls’ night. About an hour after Maria arrived at the bar, Bobbi Morse showed up after getting a text from Maria. Natasha liked Bobbi but she had to groan a little. Bobbi knew her as Natalia Romanoff, so she would have to play the role, and she and Sharon would have to be mindful of their interactions since Bobbi didn’t know they were related. That was fine, getting the chance to blow off some steam with other women who got what it was like for each other like this, was rare. Natasha didn’t even mind so much when Bobbi invited her new tag along. Well, she didn’t mind much. 

“Oh come on!” Natasha groaned. Sharon and Maria would understand the groan on a much deeper level than Bobbi would. “Who invited the kid with the world’s biggest girl crush on Director Carter?” 

“She’s a sweet kid, Romanoff.” Bobbi said as she waved Jemma Simmons over. “Give her a chance.” She smiled when Jemma waves back and heads their way. “Besides, who doesn’t have a crush on the O.G. badass first lady of SHIELD?” 

Natasha and Sharon shared a really quick look that said eww gross before hiding their laughter behind their drinks. When Agent May arrived, Natasha was thrilled. It had been ages since she’d been on the same continent as Melinda, let alone in the same room. Before Natasha officially started attending SHIELD’s Operations Academy following her graduations from Harvard and then Cambridge, Melinda May was Natasha’s trainer, teacher, mentor, and superior officer. She respected the older woman a great deal, and if she couldn’t get her mothers advice on May Parker, then she’d get Melinda’s. The older SHIELD agent had more experience and a better understanding than Sharon and herself did, so as soon as Natasha could get her on her own she talked to Melinda about things. 

“Life isn’t meant to be lived alone.” Melinda May had told her as they sat alone away from the others in a quiet corner of the bar. “Stop ignoring your instincts, brat, you were taught better than that.”

Natasha let the weekend stew a bit after returning to New York, but in the end she knew what she had to do. She invited May over for dinner, made her Ma’s manicotti and her Mum’s lemon tart, and raided Tony’s New York penthouse for a couple bottles of wine to go with it. After dinner, as they snuggled on the sofa with glasses of Tony’s expensive dessert wine, Natasha finally said, “May, I need to tell you something. I need to be honest with you before this goes any further.” 

May’s heart sank as she pulled away from Natasha, who she’d been snuggled up against. She looked into the other woman’s eyes for a long moment before saying as she set her wine glass down. “This is a make or break kind of thing, isn’t it?” 

“It could be.” Natasha nods. “It’s just that I find myself falling for you more and more, and before either of us falls further, you need to know the truth about me.” Taking a deep breath Natasha begins. “The security outfit I work for, it’s not really a personal security firm, it’s more of an international intelligence and security agency.” 

May listened, unsure of how to feel about what she was hearing. Anger that Natasha had lied, but it seemed as if she didn’t have a lot of choice but to conceal the truth. This agency of hers was clandestine in nature, to the point where Natasha mentioned something about May needing to sign an NDA. Fear was another emotion floating around in May’s system, fear and uncertainty, because she’d done this once already. She’d loved someone who put themselves on the line for the greater good, and she wasn’t sure she could put herself and Peter through that again. There was a rush of pride that felt a bit strange. She had always known there was something remarkable about Natasha, and now she understood why. And this remarkable woman who could probably have anyone she wanted, wanted May, yeah she could take pride in that. 

After Natasha was finished there was a long pause until she couldn’t take the silence anymore and asked, “May?” 

May surged forward and kissed Natasha. Then she pressed their foreheads together and sighed. “If it were just me, Nat, this would be easy, but it’s not.” Closing her eyes, she drank in and savored the feeling of Natasha and then she pulled back and said, “But it’s not just me. I need to think about this, Nat. I need to be sure I can handle loving another hero, and how that’s going to affect Peter.” 

“Of course.” Natasha said softly, hoping her voice didn’t betray her own maelstrom of emotion. “I understand, May.”

May went back to her apartment, sat alone on the sofa with her thoughts and feelings for awhile, and then went to her bedroom and pulled out the box of Ben’s things she kept in her closest. Even knowing the way it ended, she wouldn’t trade a moment with Ben. The pain and grief over his loss, was worth going through because everything before that had been wonderful, not perfect, but wonderful nonetheless. She hadn’t been sure she’d ever met someone who could make her feel similar to the way Ben had made her feel, and yet it seemed she had. There was a woman, a beautiful, intelligent, funny, caring, loving woman several floors below her that was starting to give her the same sense of warmth and home she’d had with Ben. A woman who could just as easily be ripped from her life like Ben had been. May was strong, stronger than she gave herself credit for, she could handle it. But could Peter? And was it fair of her to ask him to even try? 

She owed it to everyone involved to at least try and talk to him about it. May ordered a crap ton of chinese from their favorite place and spread it out on their small kitchen table. They were about half way through when she finally spoke up. “Peter.” She said gently to get his attention. “There’s something I need to talk to you about. I’ve been seeing someone, dating them, and recently it’s taken a turn towards the serious. I wanted to talk to you, to tell you about it, before the serious got any more serious. Especially since it’s someone you’re already pretty fond of and…” 

Peter sat there with a piece of sweet and sour chicken halfway to his mouth and stared at his aunt as she talked in a rapid fire, non-stop, hasn’t taken a breath yet way that was very familiar to him. Setting his chopsticks down on his plate he blinked, stared a bit more, and then burst out laughing. “So that’s where I get it from.” 

May blushed when she realized what he meant. Then she rolled her eyes at him. “Peter, I’m trying to tell you…” 

“That you’re dating Nat?” Peter replied easily and with a warm smile. 

May blinked. “How did you know?” 

“You’ve been spending a lot more time with her lately, and when you do you smile more. You’re happy, May, and it’s been awhile since I’ve seen you happy like that. It wasn’t too hard to figure out it was because of Nat.” Peter smiled, and then that smile morphed into a smirk. “Plus, last week you came home from going to the movies with Nat, wearing her favorite sweatshirt.” 

That caused May to blush. She hadn’t been expecting Peter to be home when she got home, and since she’d been in a hurry to get back to the apartment before him she’d grabbed Natasha’s well worn, super cozy, smells like Natasha, old Harvard sweatshirt. “So, um, yeah, I’m dating Natasha. Are you ok with that?” 

“It’s weird.” Peter says honestly after a few long moments of thought. “You dating anyone is weird.”

Reaching across the table May puts her hand over Peter’s. “You know that me falling in love with someone else doesn’t mean I’ve stopped loving Ben.” 

“I know.” Peter replies. “And it’s not all just about Uncle Ben. I mean, you’re my aunt, you’re…” He stops himself from saying old. “You’re my parent, and it’s weird to think of your parent dating. But it’s not a bad thing, you dating, well, you dating Nat. I like Nat, a lot. And I want you to be happy, Aunt May, you deserve to be happy. After Uncle Ben died you kept me, you didn’t have you too but you did, and you raised me like I was your own kid, and well, you just deserve to be happy.” 

“Peter.” May said as she squeezed his hand. “You are my kid.” Peter smiled, and she smiled back. Then she said, “There’s something else, about me and Nat. Natasha’s job is, well, more complicated than I thought, it’s different but similar in ways to what your uncle did.” 

“She’s some kind of fed isn’t she?” Peter asks as he picks up his chopsticks once May lets go of his hand. 

May blinks, surprised that he’d jumped right to a fairly close assumption. “Something like that, yeah. How did you...”

“Like a cop but not a cop.” Peter shrugged. “Is a fed.” 

“Her job has certain risks, Peter.” May continued after a pause to think. “And I want to make sure that we’re ok with that before things go any further between her and I.” 

“I like Nat, Aunt May. I’ve liked her for awhile.” Peter points out. “If something bad happened to her, I’d be upset whether you were dating her or not.” 

May blinked again. “I hadn’t thought of that.” 

They grew quiet after that, focusing on their meals and cleaning up afterward. May was lost in her thoughts and feelings. Maybe she was using Peter to mask her own fears a little more than she wanted to admit. It had been so long since she’d felt like this, and the thought of giving in and allowing herself to have it only to lose it all over again, fucking scared the hell out of her. But May Parker wasn’t the type of woman who let her fears get the better of her. “Peter, will you be ok on your own for a bit? I need to go down and talk to Nat.” 

“She isn’t home.” Peter tells her from where he’s working on his homework at the coffee table. “I saw her on her way out as I was coming in from school. She said something about picking her moms up at the airport and staying in Brooklyn for a few days. She even had Goose with her.” 

It had been days since May fled Natasha’s apartment. She must have thought May was ending things, or she wanted to give her space, or… May blinked as Peter started packing up his things while texting someone. “What are you doing?” 

“Asking Ned to ask his Mom if I can stay the night.” Peter replied. “You can drop me off on your way out to Brooklyn.” 

Sitting in the backseat of a cab outside a very nice Brooklyn brownstone May was having second thoughts about this. Maybe she should have just called Natasha instead of taking a cab all the way out to her parents house. It didn’t even look like there was anyone home. There was a soft yellow glow in the front window, perhaps from a lamp, but the rest of the house seemed dark. She knew Natasha’s mothers had been traveling, if they just returned from that trip the last thing they would want is a visitor. But she was here now, and cabs weren’t cheap, so she paid the fare and got out of the car. Not wanting to disturb the whole house or face one of Natasha’s mothers, May texted her that she was at the door. 

Natasha was sitting on her mothers’ sofa watching a movie with the volume down. Her mothers had gone to bed early, exhausted from their travel back from their vacation. She’d been texting back and forth with Tony all night so she didn’t think twice about picking up her phone when it vibrated on her thigh. Seeing that the text was from May surprised her, and opening it to read that May was outside on the stoop shocked her to the point where she sat there for several long moments just staring at the words on the tiny screen. Natasha had suffered enough loss of her own to understand the desire not to invite the possibility of more into her life, so she understood May’s hesitance. But that didn’t mean that not hearing from May for days didn’t hurt, which is why she’d come home for a few days. Her mothers could tell something was wrong but didn’t push her to find out what, which she was thankful for. But she knew that when she was ready they would be there to listen and help her figure things out. 

Pushing off the sofa after turning off the t.v. Natasha went to the door and opened it. Her brian couldn’t or wouldn’t let her find a reason for why May was here. She wanted to hope it meant something good, but she was afraid too. “May?” 

“I focused on the wrong thing.” May said as soon as she laid eyes on Natasha. “I jumped right to the worst possible outcome, something that may or may not ever happen, God forbid something ever happens, instead of focusing on the good that happens along the way. This scares me, Natasha, you scare me, what I’m starting to feel scares me…” 

“It scares me too.” Natasha says as she reaches out and gently pulls May inside. 

“It does?” May asked as she watched Natasha close the door. 

Natasha nods. “I’ve had a life full of love, but this kind of love, May, this kind of love, it’s a risk.” Natasha pauses for a moment to take a breath and then admits, “I’ve also had a life full of loss and I don’t want to feel that again anymore than you do. But I’m willing to accept the risk and whatever posabilities lay ahead of us. If you are?” 

May’s response is to spring forward, capturing Natasha’s lips in a passionate kiss and backing her up against the wall. Her fingers seek out Natasha’s hair, and she moans softly when she feels Natasha’s hands on her hip, her strong fingers digging into May’s curves almost possessively. When they part May presses her forehead to Natasha’s. “I’m sorry it took me so long to figure things out.” 

“I would have waited for as long as it took.” Natasha replies, her heart racing, her thoughts overpowered by her feelings and desires. 

They stand there for several long moments before May reluctantly pulls back. “I should go. It’s getting late and…” 

“Where’s Peter?” Natasha asks, cutting May off, and reaching out to hold May’s face in her hands. She was on the verge of making a questionable decision, and if May couldn’t give her a good reason not to follow through then there was nothing to stop her.

“At Ned’s for the night.” May answers. 

Natasha smirks. She lets her hands slide into May’s hair, drawing her in for another kiss. When she pulls away she says, “Then stay.” 

May’s eyes go wide and her gaze starts to dart around. “Here? Nat, this is your mothers’ house!” 

Their enter conversation had been had in quiet whispers, and even now May was keeping her voice soft and low. Natasha smirked a rather wicked smirk. May didn’t have anywhere else to be, and she wasn’t just going to up and leave when she’d promised her mothers a few days together. So the only option in Natasha’s mind was clear. “I’ve always wanted to sneak a girl up to my room.” 

“You’re not serious?” May blushed. 

Natasha continued to smirk. Taking May’s hand she moved back to the door to make sure it was locked, reset the alarm, and then gently pulled her along as she turned off the living room lamp before heading up the stairs. She made a point of pressing her finger to her lips as they went, her Mum wasn’t so much a light sleeper, but she was an alert sleeper. Once safely in her room with the door closed behind them, Natasha smiled as she gave May a chance to take it all in and then pulled her over to the bed. 

May laughed quietly. “And just how do you plan on sneaking me out of your room come morning?” 

“I’ll worry about that in the morning.” Natasha replied as she reached for the hem of May’s sweater after taking her jacket off and letting it slide to the floor. “We don’t have to do anything.” Natasha reassured her, sobering for a moment from the rush of emotion and hormones. “I just don’t want you to leave.” 

Stepping closer May wrapped her arms around Natasha. “I’m not going anywhere, Nat. I’m here. I’m in.” 

Natasha smiled, and once again pulled May in for a kiss. It was a night of silent revelry and connection, and the pair fell asleep wrapped in each other’s arms. Just before falling asleep, Natasha did wonder how she was going to either explain May or sneak her out, but in the moment, all that mattered was this new level they were on in their relationship. Like her Mum, Natasha fought to keep the world safe for the people she loved, May and Peter, they were now part of that group. They had been in fact, for a long time, but now more than ever, she would do what needed done to protect them. Natasha tightened her hold on May, causing the already sleeping woman to snuggle closer. 

When Angie walked back into the bedroom she shared with her wife the following morning she was smiling a huge, bright, smile. The look on her face could be read as both pleased with herself and I know a secret. 

Peggy looked up from reading the paper when Angie returned. “So?” She asked, “Does she want to go out for brunch?” 

“I didn’t get to ask.” Angie replied as she sat on the edge of her side of the bed and giggled. 

“Oh?” Peggy raised an inquisitive brow at her wife. The look on her face, the giggle, clearly there was something going on that she was unaware of. 

Angie was trying so hard not to laugh as she set her focus on Peggy’s face, wanting to watch her wife’s expression as she said, “Your daughter has a girl in her bed. I didn’t want to wake them.”

Peggy’s eyes went wide and her jaw dropped as the shock rolled over her. Clearly she hadn’t heard that right. “A.. what..?”

“May Parker is in our daughter’s bed.” Angie was cackling now as she allowed herself to fall backwards until her head was on Peggy’s thigh and she was looking up at the thunderstruck English woman. “So if our theory about Nattie’s mood was right and it involved May, it seems to have worked itself out.” 

“She wouldn’t!” Peggy was gobsmacked. Absolutely gobsmacked!

“Different generation, English.” Angie teased her wife. “Just because we would never have sex in our parents house, doesn’t mean they have the same hang ups.” Angie could no longer hold in full belly laughs. Peggy looked scandalized. “You did know she’s having sex didn’t you? Pretty sure she’s been having sex for years now.” 

“Of course I was aware that she…” Peggy groaned while shaking her head, her eyes closed as if trying to dislodge something from her mind. “I just actively choose to ignore that fact.” 

“Yeah, I’m sure she tries to do that too.” Angie replied. She adored teasing her wife, and it was a bonus when she could tease both Peggy and Natasha. Natasha would get hers later, right now Angie was locked on her beloved English. “Turnabout’s fair play and all, ya know, Peg.” 

“Excuse me?” Peggy blinked, looking down into the mischievous face of her love. Angie’s eyes were sparking, her smile bright. Peggy just shook her head again, the minx. 

Angie was having too much fun with this. “We’ve been having sex under her nose her entire life, Peggy. Right down the hall since she was a baby. And we ain’t too quiet about it sometimes, at least they didn’t wake us up.” 

“Angie!” Peggy blushed hotly, swatting Angie’s thigh with her open hand. 

“Don’t start something we can’t finish, English.” Angie scolded playfully before bursting out into laughter again at the look on her wife’s face. When she had herself under control again she sat up and asked, “So now the question is, do we let them know we know or pretend and go along with whatever Nattie chooses to do when they wake up?” 

“Oh, darling, that’s simple.” Now Peggy’s the one with the mischievous smirk. She leans close and steals a kiss from her wife, then gets out of bed, snatching up her silk robe as she goes. She can feel Angie scamper after her as she makes her way out of their room and down the hall to Natasha’s. Peggy knocks on the door firmly and calls out loudly. “Nattie darling!” She knocks again, a little louder “Natasha dear, are you awake?” There’s a thump and soft swearing on the other side of the door and Peggy has to stifle a laugh, before Natasha appears, opening the door just enough to be seen wearing a long oversized t-shirt, her hair a mess of red locks, and drowsy, hooded, eyes. Peggy smiles. “Good morning, poppet.” 

“Morning Mum.” Natasha replied, her eyes though hooded from sleep looked full of panic. 

“Mama and I have decided we’re going out to brunch.” Peggy informs her grown daughter. She waits a beat and then adds, “You and Ms. Parker have thirty minutes to get ready to join us.” 

Natasha’s eyes go wide and a soft squeak could be heard from inside her room. “Who? What? Mum…” 

“Thirty minutes, darling.” Peggy smiles and then walks back down the hall to her own room where Angie stands in the doorway laughing herself breathless. 

Natasha closes the door and then turns and leans against it, her eyes wide as she stares at May, who’s sitting up in her bed wrapped in her sheets and comforter, looking just as mortified as she is. After several moments of standing there, her heart racing, she starts to laugh. 

“I’m glad you think this is funny!” May huffs at her, her skin flushed with embarrassment, her eyes still too wide from the shock of getting caught in her girlfriend’s bed by her girlfriend’s mother. 

“Could have been worse.” Natasha says as she moves across the room to May. “She could have just come in instead of knocking.” May pulls the blankets over her head and groans, making Natasha laugh again. “Come on,” Natasha says as she pulls the blankets back. “Let's get a shower. When she says we only have thirty she means it.”

They take a shower together and then dress before heading downstairs. Their hands are linked, fingers entwined as they make their way to the kitchen where Natasha’s parents wait. She’s leading the way with May adorably trailing behind rather reluctantly. They are greeted with warm smiles and knowing looks that make them both blush. Thankfully there isn’t too much chatter at first, just warm good mornings, and a snarky teasing, “Sleep well?” from Angie. Then the four walk to the restaurant for brunch where Peggy teasingly orders Natasha a full english breakfast because, “You must be famished, darling.” 

Natasha blows a raspberry at her mother. “That would be funnier, Mum, if I didn’t order that anyway when we come here, so,” She blew a second raspberry. 

Teasing aside, the younger couple told the older couple about what had happened between them. Peggy was a little surprised that Natasha had told May about SHIELD, but she wasn’t upset about it. She was actually glad that her daughter now had someone outside that world to talk to about it, the way she’d had Angie. There were countless times over the decades where having Angie’s perspective as an outsider had been invaluable to Peggy. She made a mental note to take her daughter out to tea so they could talk about it in greater detail. Angie made a point of inviting May to lunch so they could talk, telling the younger woman that she had decades worth of experience when it came to loving an Agent Carter. 

And of course Angie was already making plans for May and Peter’s first Sunday dinner with them.


	6. Chapter 6

After several short but intense missions Natasha and Clint were given some much needed R&R. Clint’s was longer, since he’d been on a long mission before Strike Force Delta had been sent out, so he hadn’t rushed right home to Laura and the kids. He and Natasha had both been looking forward to spending some downtime together just as best friends. So Clint was staying with Natasha for a few days, and would head home after Sunday dinner at the Carters. For now the pair were camped out on Natasha’s sofa with pizza, beer, snacks, and Nintendo. Clint was in his comfy sweats and his favorite faded t-shirt. He had been wearing his favorite flannel but Natasha had stolen it for herself, putting it on over the baby pink tank top she was wearing with her heather gray lounge pants. 

The pair was in the midst of a Mario Kart/Smash Bros tournament when there was a knock on Natasha’s apartment door. She paused the game as she stood and glared at Clint, “Put the controller down, Barton.” 

Clint smirked as he set his controller on the coffee table and then faked a look of hurt. “It’s like you don’t trust me, Carter.” 

“I don’t.” Natasha walked over to the door and peeked through the peephole. She smiled instantly as she undid the chain and lock and pulled the door open. “Hey Peter, what’s up little spider?” 

Peter, still in his school clothes, smiles nervously up at the redhead. “Hi Ms. Natasha. I, um, I need to, um, talk to you, if that’s, ok?” 

Natasha smiled warmly at the boy as she raised an inquisitive eyebrow. “Of course it’s ok. Come on in, Petey.”

Stepping into Natasha’s apartment, Peter dropped his backpack by the door and went to move further inside but stopped, frozen in place, when he catches sight of the man sitting on Natasha’s sofa. 

Putting her hands on Peter’s shoulders reassuringly Natasha smiles down at him when he looks up at her. “Peter, this is my best friend and partner, Clint Barton. Clint, this is Peter Parker, May’s nephew.” 

Clint gives the boy an easy smile as he stands and walks over to him, holding out his hand for a handshake. “It’s nice to meet ya kid. Nat talks about you all the time. Says you’re a pretty smart cookie.” 

The boy blushes and grins bashfully as he shakes the man’s hand. “Nice to meet you too, Mr. Barton, sir.” 

Bashful Peter was almost as adorable as hyper excited Peter and the way he made Natasha smile, like the warmth she felt on the inside was glowing through her skin, made it evident that she adored the boy. Natasha could tell that Peter was nervous about something and easily picked up on the fact that he’d been hoping to speak to her privately. So she looked at Clint and smiled, “Alright Barton, you lost four rounds of Smash Bros and three rounds of Mario Kart. Pay up.” 

Clint sighed, a little overdramatically, and then grunted. “Fine, ice cream or cupcakes?” 

Natasha hummed thoughtfully and then replied, “Cupcakes, a full dozen.”

Walking over to the table behind the sofa Clint picked up his wallet and cellphone and slipped them into his pockets before putting on his shoes. “Kid, never play games with her with steaks involved. I don’t think your allowance could afford her sweet tooth.” 

“Shut up Barton.” Natasha tells the archer as she tosses him her car keys. “Be careful with her or else.” 

“Yeah, yeah, I’m not the one with a lead foot.” Clint replies as he catches the keys and heads out the door. 

Once she and Peter are alone Natasha waves him over to the sofa before collecting the beer bottles off the coffee table and talking them to the kitchen. When she returns she has two cans of soda, a cherry cola for herself and grape for Peter. She holds out the can to him and smiles as she takes a seat on the sofa beside him. “So, what’s on your mind little spider?” 

Peter thanks her for the soda and then nervously fidgets with the can before looking up at her and saying, “You and Aunt May.” 

Natasha blinked, then once again raised an inquisitive brow. “What about me and May?” 

“I’m really glad you two are dating, Ms. Natasha.” Peter is quick to say, so that Natasha knows he’s ok with her and May. “She’s really happy, and it’s been awhile since she’d been happy like this, and, well, just, please don’t hurt her, ok?” 

“Oh Peter,” Natasha says softly as she reaches for the boy’s hand, which she squeezes reassuringly. “I care about May, I care about her a lot, I care about you both, a lot. May makes me happy too, Peter. And I would never ever hurt her, hurt either of you, on purpose. I wish more than anything that I could promise with absolute certainty that everything will be perfect, but I can’t, Peter. What I can promise is that as long as it’s within my power to do so, I will do everything I can to keep making May happy.”

Peter took in what Natasha was saying and finally after giving it a few minutes of thought he nodded. “Ok.” 

Natasha smiled as she reached out and ruffled the boy’s hair. That had to be the cutest attempt at a shove talk anyone has ever tried. “You want to play Mario Kart or do you need to get upstairs? Does your aunt know where you are?” 

Peter nodded to both. “I told her I needed to ask you something. She went upstairs to start dinner.”

“Well, if Clint gets back before you head up you can take cupcakes up for dessert.” Natasha said as she handed Peter the controller Clint had been using. “Ok, little spider, let’s see if you got better skills than Barton.” 

Natasha meant what she told Peter. She would do everything in her power not to hurt May or Peter. She knew that her job put her at risk of doing just that, so the Black Widow became more think-first, act-second. She was a bit more cautious in the field, and didn’t jump into the chaos head first quite so much. Still, there was always that risk, that dreadful chance of something going wrong, so Natasha savored every moment she had with May and Peter. She loved taking May out on the town, and when they would take Peter to the movies, or when May and Peter joined them for Sunday dinner in Brooklyn. Each moment spent together brought them closer and closer, and the closer they got, the more Natasha fell for May, and for the possibilities that May brought with her.

“May,” Natasha said softly one evening in May’s apartment. They were cuddling on the sofa, marathoning The Great British Bake Off, and Natasha had been working up to asking the other woman something all afternoon. When May hummed softly in acknowledgment Natasha continued, “I was wondering, if you’re not busy the weekend of the fourteenth next month, if maybe you and Peter would like to join me in D.C.?” Natasha’s gaze tracked May’s movements as the other woman sat up and shifted so she was facing her. “The dance school I went to is celebrating a huge anniversary, and there’s going to be a special performance featuring current and former students. Ivie, my former teacher’s daughter, reached out and asked if I’d like to be a part of it, as a surprise for her mother, and I said yes.” 

May knew the significance of what Natasha was asking her. She understood from the way Natasha talked about ballet that it was so much more than just an enjoyable hobby for her. There were deep rooted emotional bonds to people Natasha had loved tied to her love and passion for the art. May’s smile as she shifted once again so she was straddling Natasha’s lap was radiant. Reaching out she cupped her girlfriend’s face in her hands as she looked down into Natasha’s blue-green eyes. “I would absolutely love to come and see you dance, Natasha.” 

Everything about the redhead lit up as she returned May’s smile. “Yeah?” 

“Yeah.” May nodded before lowering her face to Natasha’s to kiss her. 

That’s how Peter found them, May straddling Natasha’s lap, Natasha’s hands on May’s ass, making out like a couple of teenagers. He rolled his eyes and made a gagging sound before announcing that there was a child in the room. The couple parted with laughter and as May moved off of Natasha’s lap, the redhead apologized with a blush. All was forgiven when he was told about their pending trip to D.C. however, and the rest of the night was spent making plans. 

Natasha was kept busy over the next several weeks. When she wasn’t out of the country on a mission, she was in D.C. rehearsing, crashing in Sharon’s apartment. When she did make it home to New York, she split her time between May and Peter, and her mothers. With one exception. After a mission she’d gone to England and then she’d stopped in New York on her way to D.C. to pick up something she’d had in storage. Performing again had her aunts on her mind, and after picking up what she needed Natasha headed to the Stark estate. Her trip to England had been to visit her Uncle Jarvis and Aunt Ana’s graves. Her trip to the Stark estate had her visiting the mausoleum where her Uncle Howard and Aunt Maria were interred. 

The weekend of the performance Natasha comes home to New York so they can take the train to D.C. together. Peter had been excited by the prospect of taking the train, and Natasha couldn’t wait to share the experience with him. He was less thrilled at the idea of an evening spent watching ballet, but he really wanted to see Natasha dance so he’d bare it. Natasha had laughed when he’d said he’d been willing to watch borning ballet for her, and she promised they’d explore D.C. to make up for his suffering. They did just that Friday after they settled into their hotel. Peggy and Angie arrived on Saturday morning, so they had a late lunch with them before Natasha had to head to the performance space. 

Walking into the bedroom of the hotel suite they were staying in May found Natasha sitting on the edge of the bed with her dance bag beside her. Her girlfriend’s head was down, her focus on a black ballet slipper she held in her hand, her thumb rubbing absently at the soft silky fabric of it. “Nat?” She said softly as she walked over and put her hand on her girlfriend’s back. “Honey, are you ok?” 

Natasha looked up, she smiled but there was a hint of tears in her eyes. “I’m fine.” 

“You’re not.” May responded genty. 

“I am, I promise.” Natasha replied and then explained. “I was three when my Aunt Maria took me to see Swan Lake for the first time. I thought it was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen, it was love at first sight. It took her nearly a year to get my Mum to accept ballet lessons as my birthday present that year. There was, let’s say baggage, involved because of a connection to my birth mother. But she eventually agreed, and ballet became a huge part of my life, I loved it. My Aunt Ana, she was a designer and seamstress, she made each and every one of my costumes. My family was always there to watch me, my moms, my Uncle Jarvis and Aunt Ana, Aunt Maria, Tony, hell even Uncle Howard would try and be at my recitals.” Natasha sighs softly as she wipes away a stray tear. “I’m just missing them, is all.”

May wrapped her arms around Natasha and held her close, offering up comfort and strength. She’d known that Natasha asking her and Peter to come had meant a great deal to the other woman, she just hadn’t realized how much it truly meant until now. “They’ll be there tonight, Nat, just like they always have been.”

Natasha smiles, and kisses May thankfully. She lingers in her girlfriend’s embrace for a little longer before finally standing to put her slippers in her bag and zip it up. She gives May one more kiss, and then grabs her garment bag and heads off to the vengue. She’s excited, nervous, and a dozen other things, including happy because she was sharing something that meant a lot to her with a woman who was starting to mean the world to her. 

May and Peter met Peggy and Angie in the lobby of the hotel. Angie coos over Peter, telling him how handsome he looked in his suit and tie, while the boy blushed and Peggy and May smiled as they watched. Because Natasha was a featured dancer they were given really good seats towards the front, and slightly off center. The first performance was a mix of the newest class of students and members of the first class of dancers. Natasha’s would be after a brief intermission.

The piece of music Natasha chose had been composed during the war by a composer who was Easteran European and Jewish. It was one of the pieces she danced to that was a favorite of both of her late aunts. The music started off dark. Natasha, dressed in a black sequins chiffon and lace bodice, with a flowing knee length tulle handkerchief cut tutu, was knelt in the center of the stage, slightly doubled over, her hands over hear ears, arms around her head, as if she were corwaring. As the music swelled darkly and the spotlight became brighter, Natasha slowly unfolds herself in time with the music, and begins to dance. She is hauntingly graceful, and ethereally beautiful, as she tells the story of a frightened girl fleeing for her life in the midst of fear and darkness. She is simply exquisite. The majority of the dance is Natasha alone, but towards the end, as the music becomes brighter, happier, a male dancer joins her, and the story ends happily with Natasha and her dance partner locked in an embrace as the spotlight fades. 

May is absolutely awestruck. She had seen the accolades and heard stories of how good Natasha was during dinner the handful of times she and Peter had gone with Natasha to Brooklyn, but May had always thought the stories were told from the perspective of proud and adoring mothers. They were not. Natasha was amazing, breaktaking, and stunning.

“You must be incredibly special to her, indeed.” Peggy says warmly as she hands May a tissue. She smiles at the surprised look on May’s face, clearly the younger woman hadn’t realized she had tears on her cheeks. “Natasha hasn’t performed that piece since the woman she created it for passed on.”

Again May found herself in awe of this woman she’d fallen in love with. “Nat choreographed that herself?” 

Peggy nods proudly. “As a gift for her godmother, Ana. It’s her story Natasha tells. Ana was Jewish in Eastern Europe at the onset of the war. She met Edwin, they fell in love, and he helped her escape.”

At the reception following the performance May’s eyes scan the growing crowd until they find a shock of familiar red hair. She’s desperate to get to Natasha before anyone else and quietly slips away to make her way across the room to her. 

Natasha sees May coming and she smiles. As soon as May is close she asks, “So what did you think?” 

Before May replies she pulls Natasha into a toe curling kiss and then tells her, “That was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” Natasha blushes as brightly as her hair and May smiles as she reaches up to brush her fingers against the warmth. “Thank you for allowing me to see that. Your mom told me what the dance was about, who it was for.”

“She would have liked you.” Natasha says softly as she takes May’s hand into her own and holds it to her chest. “My Aunt Ana, she would have adored you, and Peter.” 

“Oh?” May says softly as she looks into Natasha’s blue-green eyes as the room and people around them fade away. “And why is that?” 

Natasha smiles. “Because I love you.” 

They had danced around it, implied it, but had never said it in those three simple words before. 

May smiles as she starts to close the distance between their faces and just before she kisses Natasha says, “I love you too.”


	7. Chapter 7

While Natasha had been slightly annoyed at her mothers ‘grounding’ her in order to ensure she takes the time to heal from her injuries following the Battle of New York, she was really rather grateful for it too. If not for her mothers’ edict that she stay with them, she would have been back out there despite the pain from her bruised ribs, sprained ankle, and battered body. She was grateful for the excuse her mothers had given her to take the time off for herself, to cope with what she experienced, without feeling too much guilt for being cozy on the sofa watching daytime television. Most of the news channels and network channels were playing and replaying footage from the Battle. Natasha had spent some time watching it, analyzing the things she’d done and didn’t do, things she could have or should have done differently. Tony had done something, she wasn’t sure what, to conceal her identity, something else to be grateful for, but even though she didn’t have to see herself in detail in the footage they did keep talking about the Black Widow. Once she’d had enough of the news cycle, Natasha flipped through the channels until she landed on the classic cartoon channel and then settled into the sofa for a mid-morning nap. 

The knock at the door that startled Natasha awake came as a surprise. She knew it wasn’t Fury, or anyone from SHIELD, because they had their hands full and Fury would never go against her Mum’s orders. It wouldn’t be Sharon or Tony, who wouldn’t have knocked because they have keys. It might be Steve, she thought as she pushed herself off the sofa with a grunt, her arm going across her core as she moved towards the foyer. While he respected her mothers enough not to ask her to come back to work, he might stop by to check on her. Clint had stopped by yesterday and hung out for awhile, so it wasn’t like Natasha was on complete lock down. 

When she opened the door to find May standing there Natasha lit up. They had been texting and talking over the phone for the last few days, but Natasha was really starting to miss being in May’s presence. “Hi.” Natasha greets her girlfriend with a radiant smile. “I was hoping you’d be brave enough to stop by.” She chuckled as she invited May in. “The Natasha embargo only applies to work people, not girlfriends.” 

May gently wrapped her arms around Natasha, needing to feel her body safe and whole pressed up against her own, if even for a moment. Like everyone else in New York, and around the world, she had watched the whole thing unfold on live television. But unlike the rest of the world who was watching the birth of a new team of superheroes fight alien invaders, she’d been watching her girlfriend, the woman she loved, put her life at risk over and over again. 

“Hey,” Natasha said gently as she tightened her hold on May when she felt the other woman’s body begin to tremble. “May, I’m alright, love, I’m ok.” When May pulled away from her Natasha looked into her eyes as she reached up to hold May’s face in her hands. “I’m just a little banged up, babe, but I’m alright I promise.” 

May’s response was to pull Natasha into a long, slow, kiss. When it came to an end, she pressed her forehead to the redhead’s, and breathed out a slow breath. She closed her eyes and soaked in Natasha’s warmth, her scent, and then she pulled away. “Are your mothers here?” 

Natasha shook her head. “Running errands.” 

The last few days had not been easy for May. Her heart and mind were in turmoil. Everytime she closed her eyes she saw Natasha fighting those things, and she’d be flooded with fear. It was a deep, bone aching, fear that she just couldn’t shake. “Can we talk?” 

“Of course.” Natasha replied, her heart suddenly aching in her chest as she took in the expression on May’s face. Taking the brunette’s hand, Natasha led May into the living room and over to the sofa. She tossed her blanket and pillows onto her Mum’s chair, and then eased herself down before gently tugging on May’s hand to sit beside her. 

“You’re incredible.” May begins as she looks at Natasha, their eyes locked, as her hands fidget in her lap. “You helped save us all from something unimaginable, Natasha. You stood side by side with men who can fly and lift buses and punch space whales in the face, and you did it without any kind of super power or super suit. You saved so many lives, Natasha.” 

Despite all the wonderful things May was saying Natasha’s heart was slowly sinking to her stomach. It was the way May was saying it, the look in her eyes, the nervous tremble in her fidgeting hands. Whatever May was about to say next, Natasha knew she wasn’t going to like it. “May?” 

“I love you.” May says as tears well in her eyes and then spill over her lashes. “Natasha, I do, I love you.” She pauses, pain exploding across her face. “But I’m not strong enough to do this. I thought I was. I wanted to be, more than anything, I wanted to be.” Her voice hitches and she looks away from the hurt she sees blooming in Natasha’s eyes. “I thought I could do this because I do love you, Natasha, but I can’t, I’m sorry, I... I just can’t.”

“May.” Natasha breaths out. It feels like she’s just been sucker punched in the chest by one of those alien creatures again. “May, please, don’t…” 

Before Natasha can say anymore May is kissing her again. It’s a kiss that says I love you, I’m sorry, please forgive me, and I’m afraid. Natasha was in shock, her emotions running wild, her thoughts caught up in a stampede. By the time Natasha realizes the kiss has ended and she opens her eyes, May is already standing and walking away. For a moment Natasha isn’t sure what to do, leave May to walk away because of her fear, or go after her and try to reassure her and make promises she isn’t able to keep? By the time she makes up her mind to go after May, the other woman’s already walking out the door. 

“May!” Natasha calls after the other woman as she shoots to her feet and ignores the pain ripping through her body. “May wait! May!” 

Tears stream down May’s face as she closes the door behind her, walks down the steps of the brownstone, and gets into her car and pulls off. 

“We’re back, angel.” Angie calls out as she and Peggy walk into their home. They’re both carrying shopping bags, Angie’s full of food so she starts off towards the kitchen, while Peggy’s were household items she would take upstairs. When there’s no reply from Natasha neither think much of it, she could be in the bathroom or upstairs napping. It isn’t until Angie’s putting things away and she notices the basement door open that she becomes concerned. 

The back corner of the basement had tumble mats on the floor, a ballet bar bolted to the wall, and a punching bag hanging from the ceiling. As Angie made her way down the stairs she could hear the distinctive sound of someone hitting the bag. She frowned, concern and annoyance warring inside her. Natasha knew she needed to be resting, not working out. As she approached, Natasha’s back was to her, so she couldn't see the tears on her daughter’s face or the blood seeping through her bandages and into her t-shirt from popped stitches. Putting her hands on her hips, Angie scolds, “Natasha Elizabeth Carter, what the hell do you think you’re doing, young lady?” 

Natasha stops at the sound of her mother’s voice but she doesn’t turn around. She stopped the swaying bag she’d been hitting as she tried to sort out her thoughts and feelings, and then leaned forward, pressing her forehead against the leather. She can’t seem to make the tears stop, or the burning ache in her chest go away, and now her body raged against her, bruised muscles and torn stitches screaming at her in pain.

Something was wrong. Angie rushed towards her daughter, all annoyance wiped away. “Angel?” 

The sweaty redhead turns slowly and then sinks to the floor. 

Angie holds back a gasp at the blood staining Natasha’s shirt, her heart breaking at the crushing look on her little girl’s face as she drops down. Angie falls to her knees beside her daughter, reaching for Natasha to draw her into her arms. “Natasha, baby, what’s wrong?” 

“It was too much for her.” Natasha says as she curls into her mother’s embrace. “Being an Avenger was just too much for her.” 

“For who, baby?” Angie asked, her heart clenching at the obvious answer. There was only one person who could have put Natasha into a state like this. 

“May.” Natasha confirms. 

Angie tightens her hold as Natasha presses her face into her shoulder and cries. “Oh angel.” She breathes out as she holds her baby girl and gently starts to rock them a bit as she drops kisses on top of Natasha’s head. Of course she wanted the whole story, but the first thing she needed to do was get Natasha upstairs so Peggy could look over her injuries. “Baby, you’re bleeding, you must have popped some stitches. Let's go upstairs so Mummy can take a look, ok?” 

The bleeding is bad enough that when Natasha pulls out of her mother’s arms she can see blood on Angie’s shirt from where it had seeped through her own. Her blue-green eyes go a little wide at the sight of it. “I’m sorry, Ma.” 

Angie looks down and swallows her panic. “It’s alright, angel, it’s an old shirt. Come on, sweetheart,” She starts to stand, helping Natasha as best she can. “Let’s get Mummy to have a look.” Once they’re standing, she hugs Natasha and kisses her forehead before leading her up to the kitchen, and sitting her on a stool. Careful not to use a tone that would panic her wife Angie calls out, “Peggy!” 

Decades of marriage have trained Peggy to know the differences in Angie’s voice and she knew that tone meant to come quickly, so Peggy stopped what she was doing and headed for the kitchen. When she walked in and saw Natasha, saw the pain in her eyes, the tears on her flushed cheeks, and the blood on her shirt, Peggy was astonished that Angie’s voice had been so calm. “What happened?” 

“Someone’s popped some stitches I think.” Angie replied as she looked into her wife’s big brown doe eyes. “I’ll get your first aid kit, while you look over the damage.” 

Peggy nods as she crosses the room to her daughter. “Let’s have a look, poppet.” She said gently as she helped Natasha take off her shirt. From Angie’s tone, and the state Natasha was in, Peggy knew that this wasn’t just Natasha being stubborn and doing things she shouldn’t have been doing. Her daughter was in pain, and not just physically. “What’s happened, my darling?” 

“May and I broke up.” Natasha tells her Mum. Her voice is ragged and small, it cracks on May’s name, and fresh tears well at having said the truth of it out loud.

Peggy doesn’t even try to hide her shock. She had watched the two young women together, she knew how much they loved each other, and how hard they were working towards building a life together. She would never have expected this, but given May’s past loss, maybe she should have. “What happened, love?” 

“The Avengers happened.” Natasha said honestly, anger, pain, bitterness and understanding warring it out in her voice. “I guess she was alright loving an agent of SHIELD, but loving the Black Widow is too much for her.” 

Peggy repairs the popped stitches, and she and Angie do their best to be there for their daughter as she processes what happened. Angie wants to storm Queens and shake some sense into May Parker, but Peggy won’t let her. As hard as it is to sit back and do nothing, as badly as they both want to fix this and make it right for their daughter, this is something they have to let Natasha deal with herself. 

And Natasha tries, she really does, she even goes as far as to tell May’s voicemail that she’ll give up the Avengers, take a desk job at SHIELD, but May won’t ask that of her. So Natasha respects May’s choices, and to make things easier on everyone she calls Tony, tells him she’s moving into her apartment in the tower full time, and asks him if he’d send someone to pack up and move her things from the apartment in Queens while she stays with her mothers. Of course Tony agrees.

Peter’s running up the stairs when he hears loud voices and noises on Natasha’s floor. He hasn’t seen her since before the attack on New York, and now May’s super sad because they broke up. May tried to explain, told him that it was her decision to end things, not Natasha’s. He didn’t understand, he knew they made each other happy, and he didn’t understand why Natasha being a hero was a bad thing. When he looks down the hallway towards Natasha’s apartment he sees men in jumpsuits with the Stark logo on the back moving things out, her sofa, her tv, boxes, Goose’s cat trees. Peter watches for a moment and then continues running up to his and May’s floor. 

“Aunt May!” The boy calls out as he busts into their apartment. When she comes out of the kitchen Peter grabs her hand and starts pulling her towards the stairs. 

“Peter.” May says, worried and jarred by the boy’s actions. There are tears on his cheeks and it pains her to see them. “Peter, honey, what’s wrong?” 

He takes her to Natasha’s floor and points. “They’re taking Nat’s stuff, Aunt May! Why are they taking her stuff? Where are they taking it?” 

“Oh.” May sighs, her heart squeezing painfully in her chest. She puts her hands on Peter’s shoulders as they watch the men moving Natasha’s things out and she fights back tears. “Peter, I’m sorry. Nat must be moving.” 

“Moving? Why? Where?” Peter demands. 

“I don’t know, honey.” May tells him. “Stark Tower, maybe? I think Mr. Stark keeps an apartment there for her.” 

Peter watches for a moment longer and then pulls away from his aunt, taking several steps away from her before turning to face her. “I went to Nat and I told her not to hurt you.” He tells her, tears in his eyes. “I guess I should have been telling you not to hurt her. She was a hero, Aunt May, and you broke her heart for it.” 

May’s eyes went wide, shocked by Peter’s words, his anger, and his hurt. “Peter.” 

The boy shakes his head, and runs back up the stairs to their apartment. May stands there, heartbroken and in tears. She had let her fears of being hurt, her fears of the crippling loss and pain she’d felt when Ben died, hurt the people she loved most. Peter and Natasha.


	8. Chapter 8

Standing in front of the massive tower Peter Parker looked up with his head all the way back and his eyes wide open. Even with most of it covered in scaffolding it was an impressive and imposing sight to take in. Stark Tower, New York HQ for Stark Industries, home of Tony Stark, base of operations for the Avengers, and most importantly it’s where Natasha now lived. There were snowflakes in the air, and Peter’s cheeks were rosy from the cold. Christmas was a few days away, which meant Natasha’s birthday was only a few days away. Peter had saved up and gotten Natasha something special for her birthday, and he’d worked really hard on her Christmas present, and he understood that she and May weren’t together anymore, but he really wanted to give her the gifts he’d gotten her. So he’d ditched his after school activities, they were just having lame holiday parties anyway, and he didn’t care if he missed out on watered down kool-aide, cheap bulk pop, and gross mass produced pizzas. He did give Ned the cookies May had baked to take to the parties, but then he grabbed Natasha’s presents and hopped on the F train to Manhattan, and then a bus to Park Ave. 

Now he stood in front of Stark Tower holding tightly to the red ribbon handles of a large Christmas gift bag with polar bears and penguins wearing Christmas sweaters on it. After getting jostled for the third time by the people walking around him on the sidewalk, Peter finally starts walking nervously towards the residential doors. He wondered for a moment if he would even be able to get inside, he hadn’t thought of that ahead of time. Would there be a buzzer system like there was in his building? Or would there be like a doorman like the other high end Park Ave. apartment buildings? Stepping up to the shiny, reflective glass doors Peter saw what looked like a touch screen panel, so high tech buzzer system? Pressing his finger to the pad he watched as it lit up and then an accented simulated voice asked him to press his whole hand to the panel. 

A moment later, after his hand print was scanned, the voice was speaking again, “Parker, Peter Benjamin. Access granted.” 

Peter blinked as the glass doors slid open. “Um, thank you?” Stepping inside he once again found himself standing stone still in utter awe, his head back, his eyes wide, as he slowly turned in a circle to take it all in. “Wow.” 

“Season’s Greetings, Mr. Parker.” The accented voice called out from nowhere. “Welcome to Stark Tower. How may I be of assistance?” 

“Um,” Peter blinked, his wide brown eyes darting around looking for the doorman or security officer or anyone. “Hello? Um, hi, uh I’d like to see Natasha Carter, please.” He couldn’t explain why but it felt like he was being watched so he held up the gift bag. “It’s almost Christmas, oh, um, happy holidays? Yeah, anyway, um, it’s almost Christmas and it’s almost Nat’s birthday, and I brought her a present. I think she lives here? Does she live here? Oh, I probably shouldn’t ask that, you probably can’t tell me if she does. You know what nevermind, this was probably a bad idea. I mean, my aunt broke up with her, and she probably doesn’t want to see me anymore anyway. Thank you for letting me into your really nice lobby. I’ll just go now.” 

Peter turned and began walking towards the door, his head hung low and his eyes burning a bit. 

“Little spider?” Natasha called out softly when she saw the boy. 

Spinning on his heel Peter looked towards the sound of Natasha’s voice and saw the redhead standing by what looked like the silhouette of an elevator door. She was in ripped jeans, a cozy looking sweater, her hair was pulled back and her feet were bare. She looked like she did whenever he’d stopped at her apartment, comfortable and at home. It kind of made him sad. But then Natasha was smiling at him and he couldn’t help but smile back as he ran over to her to hug her. “Hi Nat!” 

To say Natasha was surprised would have been an understatement. When Jarvis told her the boy was here she’d actually asked the A.I. if he was sure it was Peter. She thinks Jarvis sounded offended when he said yes, he was sure. Jarvis had even pulled up the security feed to show her the boy walking into the building. She’d watched for a few seconds as he turned, taking it all in. Then she’d jumped to her feet and ran to the elevator to get to him before he could leave. 

“I miss you Nat.” Peter says before he can stop himself, pressing his face into Natasha’s shoulder. 

Natasha’s eyes were starting to burn. Not only had she needed to deal with the loss of her relationship with May, but she’d also had to grieve over losing Peter as well. Peter had become family, and not being able to spend time with him hurt like fucking hell. “I’ve missed you too, Peter.” She hugs him tightly and for a long time. When he finally lets her go and takes a step back she asks, “What are you doing here, little spider?” 

Peter beams as he holds up his gift. “It’s almost Christmas, and your birthday!” 

“Oh Peter.” Yeah, those were tears and Natasha didn’t even care as she smiled warmly at the boy. “I have something for you, little spider. Wanna come up? Or is May waiting on your outside?” 

Peter bit his lip, but managed not to duck his head, shaking it instead. “She’s not, I have time.” 

Natasha smiled happily and led Peter upstairs to her apartment. There was a Christmas tree in the common area between her place and Sharon’s and the decorating had become something of a joke between them, and had gotten a bit out of hand. All of the ornaments were weapons related, guns, knives, garnaides, the garlin were strung together bullet casings, and the topper was an old shell from a missile launcher. When Peter saw it he gave Natasha a strange look and she just shrugged and chuckled. “Sharon’s weird.” 

Inside Natasha’s apartment there wasn’t a single hint to the quickly approaching holidays. As Peter looked around, Natasha telling him to make himself at home while she disappeared down a hallway, he didn’t see much of Natasha in the space either. There were a few pictures in frames, her mothers, her cousins, and the members of her family she’d lost. There was even a picture hidden in the back of a bookshelf of him, May, and Natasha taken in the park. But where was Natasha’s artwork and posters of ballerinas and operas? The brick-a-brack that used to be on display in her apartment in Queens? Her medals and awards? The books and records?

A meow at his feet caught Peter’s attention and he looked down to see Natasha’s orange tabby cat rubbing up against his legs. Crouching down he gave the cat a pet. “Hi Goose.”

“I probably should have mailed this out by now.” Natasha said as she came back carrying a box with wrapped gifts in it. “Good thing I didn’t.” 

Peter smiles as he stands and walks over to sit with Natasha on the sofa. She tells him that a couple of the gifts are from her mothers, a book on mechanical design, a stocking full of candies and cookies, a hand knitted Fourth Doctor’s scarf, and his very own Nerf gun for Carter Nerf Wars. He laughed a little at the last one to cover up the pain and sadness at thinking he’d never get to be in another Carter Nerf War, but it also made him smile because great minds think alike. Reaching into the bag he brought he pulled out a gift wrapped in Christmas paper and held it out to Natasha. “You should open this one.” 

“Ok.” Natasha said brightly as she tore into the kittens in stockings wearing santa hats paper. Inside she found two custom Nerf guns. They were black, with her red hourglass logo painted on the grips, and a thin red spider web like crackling in the paint. Along the barrels Black Widow was painted in perfect weathered looking block letters with her hourglass between the words. 

“Ned helped with the build.” Peter said softly. “But I did the painting so he wouldn’t know the theme.” 

“I love them, little spider.” Natasha beamed as she looked up at him, a huge smile on her lips and her blue-green eyes bright with unshed tears. “They’re really good, Peter. Thank you.” 

She wasn’t going to cry, she wasn’t going to put Peter through that. Natasha didn’t want to cause the boy any kind of distress. Exchanging gifts should be a happy thing to do. She wanted to keep the look of awe on Peter’s face as he opened the Stark watch, Iron Man themed of course, that she’d given him. She wanted to see the joy when he opened the Star Wars lego set, and the new camera. Once the Christmas gifts are opened, Peter hands her a small gift in Happy Birthday wrapping paper, and all attempts at not crying in front of him are forgotten. Inside the box is a beautiful spider pendant. The bail, the little piece that a chain went through, was attached to the abdomen of the silver spider, the birthstone for December set into its thorax, it’s legs were half back and half forward. It’s very first set of legs were pinched together holding a much smaller spider with the birthstone for August set into its thorax. “Peter.” 

Peter had a moment of panic when he saw the look on Natasha’s face and the welling tears in her eyes. “Do you like it? Is it too much? I know you don’t wear a lot of jewelry, just your cross sometimes. I thought you could put it on your charm bracelet maybe, the one Mrs. Carter got you, if you didn’t want to wear it as a necklace.” He rubs the back of his neck nervously as he watches Natasha cry. “I’m sorry Nat, please don’t cry, I didn’t mean to make you cry. I just thought, well, spiders are kind of special between us, yeah? So I thought, I don’t know, I just thought you might like it.”

“Oh sweetie.” Natasha is quick to reassure the boy, giving him a megawatt smile before pulling him in for a hug. “It’s beautiful Peter.” Natasha tells him as she holds him close. “And you were right, spiders are special between us.” When she pulls back from the hug she runs her finger over the baby spider dangling from the mama spider’s legs. How can a heart be both so full of joy and yet break at the same time? “I love it, little spider.” 

“Really?” Peter was on the verge of beaming but he wasn’t sure quite yet.

Natasha nods as she reaches for the boy to hug him again. She missed Peter and May terribly, and seeing Peter again after so many months apart had been wonderful but it had also reopened a wound that hadn’t healed, causing a renewal of her pain. After letting go of Peter she excused herself, telling him she wanted to get a chain to put her pendant on. She also wanted a moment to reign herself in, to get a handle on her emotions so they could enjoy what time together they had left. When she returned she found Peter pacing the room while on his phone, causing her to raise an eyebrow. 

“I had something I needed to do, Aunt May.” Peter said, trying to keep his voice low so Natasha wouldn’t hear. “Yes, in Manhattan.” 

“Peter.” Natasha says, crossing her arms over her chest. “Does May know you’re here?” 

Peter jumps, turning to see Natasha standing there, his eyes wide. For a moment he looks like a fish gulping at the air. It’s May’s voice that finally makes him respond, “Yeah, Aunt May, that’s Nat. I wanted to bring her her presents.” 

May insists on coming to pick him up. Natasha tells him to tell her to come down into the tower’s residential garage. There are gifts for May as well in the box, which Natasha helps Peter take down when Jarvis tells them May has arrived. May sits in the car, unable to force herself to get out. Watching the way Peter hugs Natasha goodbye, the way Nat’s eyes close as she rests her cheek on top of Peter’s head, it hurts. It hurts a hell of a lot because she knows she’s the reason the two haven’t seen each other, why they’re no longer in each other’s lives. God, she misses Natasha. 

Peter doesn’t talk to her for three days, and she’s tired of trying to explain she was only trying to protect them from more pain, and the kind of dangers Natasha’s life revolved around. Peter was just a toddler when his parents were killed, and a small boy when Ben died, he didn’t see the crippling grief May suffered. She did everything in her power to hide it from him, to be there for his grief, his sadness, his fears. She had to be there for Peter, and over time her own pain lessened and she was able to live with the grief if not deal with it properly. She never expected to feel for anyone anything close to what she’d felt for Ben, and then Natasha happened. Now May was convincing herself that the pain of breaking up was far more bearable than the pain of losing Natasha another way.

It was nearly Christmas Eve, and May needed to pick up a few last minute things for dinner. A few of the things on her list were speciality items that forced her to venture to the Italian market in Brooklyn. She’s just reaching for the next item on her list to place it in her basket when she feels someone step up beside her. Turning to see who had invaded her personal space May nearly flinched at the sight of the older woman. “Mrs. Carter, hi.” 

Angie smiled politely at the woman who broke her daughter’s heart. She had to remind herself that whatever happened, the two younger women loved each other, so she promised herself she would be nice. “Hiya May, Merry Christmas dear.” She let her blue-green gaze sneak a peek into May’s basket and then added, “Feast of the Seven Fishes?” 

May nods. “We do it every year on Christmas Eve.” 

“So do we.” Angie replies. “I’m actually here to pick up my fish order, clams, squid, crab, salmon, fresh anchovies, and so on.”

“I’m not normally a fan of anchovies,” May says, getting caught up in making small talk to avoid anything heavier, but then she continued with, “but Nat made this pasta one night that was amazing.” 

Angie watched May flinch when she brought up Natasha and she couldn’t help but smirk. While she cared a great deal about May, the woman had hurt her angel, and Angie was relieved to see the other woman seemed to be hurting as well. It was petty, she knew that, but this was her baby they were talking about. Angie would give the Pope the evil eye if he dared to cause her angel to shed a single tear. “My Nonna’s recipe, I’m sure.” She paused a moment, she could hear her wife’s voice in her head warning her against what she was about to do, but what Peggy didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her. “How are you and Peter doing, dear? The last few months must have been just as hard on you as they’ve been on Natasha.” 

“I’m sorry I hurt her.” May says softly instead of answering Angie’s question, her head dropping and her gaze landing on her shoes.

“I’ve been in your shoes, May.” Angie tells the younger woman. “I’ve been the one faced with loving someone who does what Natasha does, what Peggy did.” She waits for the younger woman to look up at her before she continues. “I know you’re afraid, that you’re trying to protect yourself, but are you? I mean, if something, God forbid,” Angie crossed herself with her freehand as she said a quick silent prayer for her child’s safety. “Where to happen to Natasha, would it really hurt any less now that you’re not together? Or could it maybe be worse? Because you missed out on the time you could have been together being happy?” 

May hadn’t thought of it that way. The fear she’d felt following the Battle of New York had been clawing at her, pressing on her chest until she couldn’t breath, waking her in the middle of the night and leaving her gasping for breath. 

Angie reaches out and puts her hand on May’s arm. “If you want to talk about it with someone who understands, May, please call me. We’ll have coffee, and we’ll talk.” 

She didn’t really have any intentions of ever calling Angie. May had made up her mind, this is what was best for everyone. Well, maybe not the best, and maybe not for everyone, but it was the choice she made and she was going to stick to it. But then she sees Natasha face to face at a concert they were supposed to go to together, and she feels herself getting caught up in a windstorm. Natasha had surprised her with Barbra Streisand tickets, there hadn’t been any reason for it, she’d simply done it because they were both fans and she’d wanted it to be something they experienced together. “Something every good Brooklyn girl should do if given the chance, and I want us to do it together.” She’d said. A couple of weeks after the break up May had gotten an email from Natasha saying to use the tickets. She wasn’t going to, but she’d mentioned it to Carmen and before she knew what was happening she and Carmen were sitting in the seats meant for herself and Natasha. 

Then she heard the chatter of familiar voices and when May looked up there was Natasha surrounded by her mothers, her cousin Sharon, and Pepper. May watched Natasha stiffen at the sight of her, saw the flicker or pain in her blue-green eyes and it cut at May’s heart. 

“I’m so sorry.” Natasha says. “Tony surprised us with a girls’ night out. I didn’t think to check the seats on the tickets.” 

“It’s alright, Nat.” May says, and then corrects herself because only friends called her that. “Natasha.” She tries to smile a reassuring smile, a light and easy smile. “I’m glad you got to come. You were really excited for this.” 

“So were you.” Natasha says softly. “I’m glad you decided to use the tickets.” 

They’re not seating super close, but they’re close enough that they can steal glances throughout the show. It’s terribly cliche, but May finds herself thinking about Natasha the whole time. Her memories of them together playing out to the very songs so often played over the montage of memories in the movies they would curl up and watch on each other’s sofas. Closing her eyes as she listens, May could almost feel the warmth and strength of Natasha’s arms around her, feel the weight of Natasha’s head resting atop her own as she’s snuggled into the crook of Natasha’s neck, her fingers dancing over the skin of Natasha’s stomach after her hand finds its way up her shirt, as they watch Funny Girl or The Way We Were. It’s the memories of Natasha and Peter that finally drive May from her seat. Natasha and Peter making a mess out of her kitchen while singing along to the soundtrack to Gypsy while trying to bake cupcakes. Natasha and Angie teaching Peter Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy in the living room of the Carter brownstone, while she and Peggy laugh, because he’d asked about what kinds of things happened in a USO show. May’s fears hadn’t just taken a lover from herself, but a family from Peter, and that she couldn’t bear. 

Natasha saw May flee with tears in her eyes and was quick to jump to her feet and follow. Out in the lobby she called out a soft, “May?” 

May freezes, tenses up, and makes no move to turn towards Natasha. She didn’t want the other woman to see her in tears. 

For a moment Natasha just stood there and chewed on her lip but then she walked over to May and put her hand on the other woman’s shoulder. “May?” 

The breath May took before finally turning to face her ex-girlfriend caused her whole body to shudder. When she was facing Natasha, she tried so hard not to look up into those blue-green eyes she knew would be full of concern. When she felt Natasha’s fingers under her chin, May tried to refuse letting Natahsa tilt her head up because she was afraid of what else she would see in those eyes. Would she see pitty or anger? Or, what really scared her, would she still see love? 

“I’m sorry, May.” Natasha says gently when she finally gets the other woman to look at her. 

May shakes her head. “Don’t, Natasha, don’t do that. You have nothing to apologize for.”

“Me being here is hurting you.” Natasha aruges. 

May shakes her head again. She finally looks into Natasha's eyes and she’s on the verge of a sob. “My own choices and actions are hurting me, Nat, not you.” 

Without thinking Natasha reaches up to brush at the tears on May’s cheeks, gently wiping them away, and cupping her face gently. Being this close to May again, it’s got her all muddled up inside and while logically she knows she shouldn’t say it, her heart does it anyway. “I miss you, May, a lot.” 

“I miss you too.” May admits. 

The kiss doesn’t surprise them, it’s warm, welcome, and comforting. It’s gentle, soft, and still full of love and affection. It’s what happens after the kiss that surprises them both. Which one leads the other to the bathroom they’re not sure, but as the speaker system plays As if We Never Said Goodbye from the stage, it’s Natasha’s back that’s pressed up against the wall of the furthest stall from the door. The mix of physical pleasure and emotional pain leaves them both flushed, their faces tear soaked, and when they part they’re both too dazed to think about what this meant, if it meant anything at all. 

May calls Angie after that and they start having coffee once a week. 

Natasha, confused and feeling out of sorts, flees to the Barton farm for a while. She had finally started feeling at peace with losing May, she still hurt, but at least she wasn’t drinking herself stupid with her cousins or throwing herself into dangerous siturations anymore. When Maria offered her a mission that could possibility cause her to cross paths with her old Russian fuck buddy, Natasha opted to take some personal days. After being there for about a week, after Clint takes Cooper and Lila into town, Natasha’s left alone with Laura who smiles at her in that big sister way she has and Natasha sighs because she knows what’s coming. 

“So,” Laura begins as she hands Natasha a bottle of beer before sitting in the rocking chair beside Natasha’s on the porch. “What are you hiding from, Nat?” 

Natasha snorts in a way she hopes sounds like an offended kind of snort. “I’m not hiding from anything. Can’t I just come and hang out with you and the kids without having a reason?” 

“Of course you can sweetie.” Laura reassures the other woman. “But I know you, Nat, there’s something weighing on you pretty heavily.” 

“You’re as bad as my mothers.” Natasha grumbles before taking a long drink from her bottle. “It’s no wonder I hang out with guys so much.” Laura just smirks at her, eyebrow raised, waiting. Natasha sighs. “May and I had sex in a bathroom stall at a Barbra Streisand concert.” 

“Are you two back together?” Laura asks, ignoring the whole ripped from a trashy lesbian novel senrio, because she’d heard Natasha’s drunken sexcapades stories before and knew that wasn’t her first encounter with public sex. 

Natasha sighes and shakes her head. “No.” 

“Ah.” Laura replies with understanding. 

“I was just starting to hurt less, ya know.” Natasha tells her. “And then wham, we have this moment, and now I just hurt all over again.” 

Laura reaches over and puts her hand on Natasha’s knee. “I’m sorry, sweetie.” After she redraws her hand and sits back in her chair she asks, “Do you think maybe there’s a chance for the two of you?” 

“I don’t know.” Natasha admits with a shrug of her shoulders. “I wouldn’t have thought there was, but, I can’t ignore the emotion that was there. I still love her, Laura, and I think she still loves me.” She sighs. “But loving each other was never the problem, it was the Black Widow that was the problem.” 

“Fear and uncertainty is the problem, Nat.” Laura tells her. “It’s not easy loving someone who might not come home.”

“People say that to me like I don’t fucking understand it.” Natasha says with an edge. “I might not have known my mother was the director of SHIELD, but I knew she did something that caused my Ma to worry, to be afraid she wasn’t coming home, and I felt it too.”

“Which is why you were so willing to let May go without much of a fight.” Laura tells her. “You knew that fear in a certain way, and you didn’t want to inflect it on her, so you just let her walk away instead of trying to help her come to terms with it.” 

“Yeah.” Natasha says bitterly. Letting her head fall back against the back of the chair, Natasha sighs. “Everyone thinks I just need to move on, find someone to rebound with, and then move past it, past her. But I can’t.” 

“Everyone?” Laura questions. 

“Tony, Sharon, Clint, hell even Steve’s been throwing out name suggestions for me.” Natasha snorts as she thinks of the role reversal between herself and Steve. 

Laura hums softly as she sips her beer. “You’ve never had an issue with causal sex before.” 

“Yeah, but, now’s different.” Natasha replies. When Laura asks why she thinks about it and shrugs as she simply says, “May.” 

“You’re not together, Nat.” Laura points out. “It wouldn’t be cheating.” 

“I know.” Natasha huffs at her friend. “I just don’t wanna.” 

Laura smiles. “You don’t want anyone but May.”

Natasha nods, sighs, and then closes her eyes. Why was her personal life so much harder than fighting invading aliens and Hydra? Really, shouldn’t that have been the easy part of her life? She loved May, why couldn’t that just be enough? Maybe the others were right. Maybe she just needed to get May out of her system. A few days later when Hill calls with another mission Natasha takes it. Two weeks after she leaves, Natasha misses her first check in, and then another, and it’s clear something’s gone wrong. 

May’s expecting Angie for coffee but not Angie and Peggy. The looks on their faces let her know something is wrong, but their words still hit like a ton of bricks. “Natasha was on a mission, and she’s gone dark. We don’t know what’s happened yet, but, May, Natasha’s missing.”


	9. Chapter 9

Everyone was right. The fact that they weren’t together did not lessen the way May felt about Natasha. The woman she loved was missing and May Parker was a wreck, she was terrified and worried, angry and on edge. She was doing her best to mask her concern and fear for Peter’s sake, but she knew he knew something was off. She just didn’t have the courage to tell him what it was. He adored Natasha. She adored Natasha. What had she been thinking? Letting her fears and uncertainty get the better of her! What if, what if something bad has happened, and Natasha’s gone? All of that time they could have been together but weren’t because May was a coward? During one of their afternoon coffees Angie had told her self preservation wasn’t cowardice, that it was human nature to want to protect the heart from pain and suffering, and that it took a great amount of strength to fight against that. Angie had admitted to her that she had gone through her own struggle in dealing with fear and uncertainty when it came to a life with Peggy, even though she loved Peggy with every fiber of her being. She’d told the younger woman that she thought she’d had it all under control, but then after Natasha came along, she found herself struggling again. She told May that it would just be something that would always be there, that would alway need tending too. 

“Love is this big overwhelming wonderful thing that you feel.” Angie had told her. “But so is fear, and uncertainty, and you have to find a way to balance it all out, because everything you feel matters, the good, the wonderful, the bad, and the scary.”

May couldn’t imagine anything scarier than this. Natasha was the infamous Black Widow, the only woman to stand alongside the Avengers, and yet she’d come up missing on a mission? May wasn’t allowed to know any details, but she knew Natasha. There was no way the redhead would stay away from her family of her own accord, which meant she’d been captured. Her mothers reassured everyone that she was still alive. “I would know if she weren’t.” Peggy had insisted. “I would know if my child was no longer of this world, I’d feel it in my bones, in my heart, in my very soul if Natasha was gone.” Angie had told May the same thing, and unlike the others who humored them, May knew it to be true. If something would, god forbid, happen to Peter she would know it. The world would feel different if he weren’t in it. So if Peggy and Angie said Natasha was alive, she was alive. 

While believing Natasha was alive was comforting, it didn’t ease the fear however. Just because she was alive, didn’t mean she was well. Who knew what her captors were doing to her. She was probably hurt badly, because that’s the only reason she wouldn’t have fought for herself, fought to get home to the people who loved her, who she loved. Unsure of what she could do, other than be supportive of Natasha’s mothers, May fell back on her upbringing. It had been a long time since she’d been in a church, Ben’s funeral had been the last time she’d set foot in one, but she found herself walking into one now. Natasha had mentioned it many times, the old Episcopal cathedral she and her mothers attended when they lived in New York, and it was just as beautiful as the redhead had said it was. There were a handful of people, mostly older, scattered around in the pews, one of which May knew. She walked silently down the aisle, trying not to feel too uncomfortable, and then slipped into the seat beside Angie. 

Angie glanced over at her, gave her a small smile, and then returned her attention to her rosary. May just sat there for a few moments, unsure of what to do at first, and then she reaches for her bag and pulls out her own set of rosary beads. She doesn’t really remember the prayers, so she just sits there and fidgets with the beads and silently repeats, ‘Please be ok, please come home, I’m so sorry, and I love you Nat, please please come home to us.’

After they leave the church Angie walks them to a nearby cafe where they have coffee and pick at fruit turnovers. When she notices that May’s shredded her apple turnover Angie reaches out and puts her hand on the younger woman’s. “Peggy’s taken herself out of retirement, May. She’s leading the team looking for our girl. She’ll find Natasha, and she’ll bring her home to us.” She smiled reassuringly and then a little wickedly. “And God have mercy on the people who took her.” 

Agent Melinda May walked into the large room with it’s open space, tell tale signs of construction, and a large bar along one whole wall, with a deep frown. She had no idea why she’d been summoned to Stark Tower of all places. Her team needed her, Skye and Phil needed her, not the Avengers. Spotting Maria Hill she walked over to the other woman with purpose and demanded, “What the hell am I doing here, Hill?” 

“Hello to you too, Agent May.” Maria greets with a hint of amusement and without looking up from her ever present tablet. 

Agent May crossed her arms over her chest. “Why did you call me here?” 

“I didn’t.” Maria replies, still working her tablet and not looking at the shorter woman. 

“I did.” Peggy announced as she walked into the room. “I called in the Cavalry, Agent May.”

May went to attention instantly. “Director Carter, Ma’am.” With her focus drawn away from Hill and onto her former boss and commander Agent May noticed who stood with Carter. Agent 13, Captain America, Agent Barton, and Agent Morse, were gathering around the formabale woman. May also noticed who was not in the mix. Natasha. “What do you need me to do, Ma’am?” 

Peggy smiled at the woman and sighed a bit in relief. “Help me find my daughter.” 

There’s old archive footage from the war showing the Howling Commandos bursting into Hydra bases led by a dark haired woman in a rich chocolate brown coat, tan shirt, dark tie, hair pinned up and back, machine gun in hand. Natasha used to wear that old leather jacket around the house long before she ever properly fit into it. It was soft, well worn, and smelled of leather and her mother, it was more comforting than any childhood blanket ever could be. When she’d been granted access to those old archives, Natahsa had watched and rewatched her mother and her uncles, finally connecting reality to the stories she’d been told all her life. Her mother had always been Natasha’s hero, but seeing her in those old films, just made Peggy’s past as Agent Carter that much more indomitable to Natasha. 

Natasha only allowed herself moments of weakness when she was sure her captures were not focused on her. Even in her drugged and pain filled state she would not break, but in those few precious private moments she allowed herself to imagine her mother coming to her rescue, bursting in through the door in her chocolate brown jacket, gun raised, Uncle Dum Dum to her right, one of the other Howlies to her left. It gave her a moment of comfort that allowed her to think of a way out of this mess. She’d attempted escape a total of six times at this point, she supposed she should be grateful that they just drugged the fuck out of her instead of breaking her legs. The drugs kept her in a stupor, but did nothing to keep her from feeling the pain from the beatings, so her mind was more than a little addled. Which is why she didn’t know that what she was seeing through her half lidded blurred eyes was real. 

The door to the room Natasha was being held in was ripped off its hinges. A moment later a dark haired woman in a SHIELD tactical uniform, rifle held at the ready, came charging in flanked by Captain America to her right and a small Asian woman who made Natasha think of a very angry, rabbid, badger to her left. She felt like she should know the angry badger woman. Oh! Angry badger woman kind of reminded her of Melinda, who would not have liked that comparison at all, and would be really pissed at her for letting herself get captured. Melinda had trained her better than that, her mother had raised her better than that. Come to think of it, the dark haired woman in the SHIELD uniform kind of looked like her Mum, though the last time Natasha had seen anyone look that angry it ended in her being chased by a massive green rage monster.

It wasn’t until another woman in a SHIELD uniform came in to join the fight, Natasha had been under guard and was currently strapped down in a chair awaiting another round of interrogation, that Natasha’s mind cleared enough to realize this was real. It was when she heard Sharon’s voice, caught a glimpse of her with her dual glocks in hand, that Natasha’s protective instinct kicked in, the adrenaline burning away some of the drug's effects. She began fighting against her restraints, violently, because that was Sharon, and if they caught Sharon they would hurt her! Needing to get Sharon’s attention as she thrashed, Natasha began to whisper in a horse voice, “Mushy peas.”

With the rest of her team engaging the enemy, Peggy rushed to Natasha instantly, firing at the men closest to her daughter, killing them. When she gets to her, she slings the strap of her rifle over her shoulder, and then tries to calm Natasha enough to free her. “Easy Agent Carter, easy now.” She commanded, but Natasha simply kept repeating a muttered nonsense phrase over and over again as she fought against her restraints and Peggy’s touch. It was breaking Peggy’s heart, which is why it took a moment for Peggy to realize what Natasha was doing. Watching Natasha’s frantic blue-green eyes track Sharon, Peggy realized her daughter was using the identification method she had taught them to use as girls. “Agent Thirteen! I need your assistance!” 

Sharon worked her way over to her aunt and cousin as soon as Peggy called out for her. Once she reached them she put her hand on Natasha’s shoulder, heard what Natasha was muttering and quickly replied, “Lima beans, Nat, lima beans.” 

Natasha instantly stopped struggling, relaxed, and breathed out. “Sharon.” 

“Hi.” Sharon replied as she reached out to hold Natasha’s face in her hands for a moment. When their eyes met she smiled at her cousin and said, “Got yourself in a real mess this time didn’t you, Widow.” 

“Yeah,” Natasha replied with a soft moan. “Fucked up.” She added, as Sharon let go of her face to help unstrap her from the chair. “Fucked up bad, Shar, don’t tell my Mum ok?” 

Sharon smirked and raised a brow as she lifted her gaze from Natasha to the woman on the other side of Natahsa. “Um, Nat.” 

Natasha, whose head was now free of the straps holding in its place, turned her head to see what Sharon was looking at. She blinked. Upclose the dark haired woman really really looked like her Mum. She blinked again. 

“I’m afraid this is a cousins’ secret that can’t be kept, poppet.” Peggy says as she caresses Natasha’s cheek. 

The battered redhead jumps when it hits her. “Mum.” A wave of relief washes over her and Natasha lets out a small heartbreaking sob. “What are you doing here? In a SHIELD uniform?” 

Peggy smiles warmly as she holds Natasha’s face in her hands. “Some bloody idiots thought it a good idea to take my child, I had to come show them the error of their ways, and I quite like the uniform, think I’ll keep it.” 

While Peggy and Sharon had been freeing Natasha, the rest of the team, Agent May, Steve, Morse, Barton, and Hill, had been fighting the reinforcements sent after they’d made their way through the main contingent of enemy combatants. After several more minutes of heavy fighting, Agent May and Steve return with the all clear. As Steve gingerly picks Natasha up and cradles her in his arms, he promises Peggy to be as gentle with her as possible. Peggy smiles thankfully at him before returning her attention to Natasha. She smiles down at her daughter and reassures, “Now, let's get you home, my girl.” 

Natasha loses consciousness on the quinjet on the way to the nearest SHIELD medical facility, which unfortunately isn’t in New York but Berlin. Peggy doesn’t want to take any chances, she wants Natasha examined by doctors as soon as possible, so she makes the call for Berlin. With the exception of Sharon, she leaves her SHIELD agents behind to investigate, while Steve accompanies them to the medical facility. She commanded Sharon to the cockpit, and then took a moment to tease Steve about the last time he was allowed to fly a plane. When Peggy settles beside Natasha she feels Steve’s hand on her shoulder, squeezing in reassurance, and she almost breaks. Almost. She manages to hold off until she calls Angie to tell her that they have Natasha and that she’s taking her to Berlin. 

May had no choice but to go to work. It’s not like she could tell her boss that her secret spy newly minted Avenger ex-girlfriend was missing, and that she couldn’t be on that conference call with the mayor’s office because she was scared out of her fucking mind. Thankfully she made it through her meetings, and now she was just sitting at her desk with her thoughts on what ifs and do overs, not her work. When her phone buzzed, rattling loudly on her desk top, May glanced down to silence the noise, but when when she saw it was Angie she quickly snatched it up. “Hello?” 

“They got her, May.” Angie’s voice rings out over the line. “They found Nat, and they’ve got her.” 

May lets out a little sob as her eyes fill with tears of relief. 

“She’s on her way to a hospital in Berlin.” Angie continues. “I’m leaving now to meet them.” 

Relief washes over May like crashing waves over the sand. As she feels her tears roll down her cheeks and rushes to the bathroom to hide her small breakdown. The hospital is a SHIELD facility, May doesn’t have clearance, otherwise Angie would ask her to come alone. May tells the older woman she understands. Angie promises to keep her updated, and she does. For the next two weeks May gets text updates on Natasha from her mother. She’d had to have surgery for some internal bleeding, but that was the worst of her physical injuries. She had a broken wrist, broken nose, broken ribs, more bruising than she’d had after the Battle of New York, and a handful of small things that made up the rest of her physical injuries. Nothing she hadn’t had in the past from missions, or even gymnastics. It was Natasha’s mental recovery that would take more time, Angie warns, wanting to be as up front with the younger woman as possible. 

“We’re bringing her home tomorrow, May.” Angie told the woman over the phone. “Tony’s added a medical wing to the Tower, we’re going to settle her in there to finish her recovery. You should come and see her, May.” 

May isn’t sure if Natasha would want to see her, and if she did, would she want her to see her like this? But the more she thought about it, the more May realized, this is exactly how she should see her. After the way she ran out on Natasha, she needed to show the other woman she was ready to be there, even at her worst. 

Natasha kept running the mission over and over in her mind trying to figure out where it had all gone so wrong, and she kept coming up with nothing. She couldn’t pinpoint the grave mistake she had to have made to land herself in that situation, but surely she had to have made one. It was starting to piss her off, and she was lashing out at the people around her. It didn’t help that she was confined to a hospital bed, at least now that she was in Stark Tower she could work, but even that had to be done on the sly. Tony shouldn’t have given her such a high level of access to Jarvis if he wanted her to rest. Sharon had convinced her mothers to go home, to shower and sleep in their own bed for a night, giving Natasha a couple of hours to poke around in some SHIELD files to find out what was going on. Not that Sharon knew that she was giving Natasha time to work. Natasha had promised to rest while Sharon was gone. As she shifted through the date, Natasha knew she had to be careful, one wrong move and she’d alert Melinda, who was royally pissed at her for getting hurt, that she was snooping into her investigation.

“Should you really be working right now?” Was said from the doorway, and when Natasha looked up the woman standing there was not the May she was expecting. May smiled cautiously at the woman in the hospital bed. “Hi Nat.” 

“May,” Natasha breathed out, her blue-green eyes wide, her mouth slightly open in surprise. “Hi.” 

“May I come in?” May bit her lip, and shoved her fisted hands further into the pockets of her long sweater. 

“Yeah, sure, of course.” Natasha replies as she swipes away the displays she’d been working on. She watched with a sense of cautious curiosity as her ex made her way across the room towards her. 

“How are you feeling?” May asks when she reaches the bed, her gaze locked on Natasha’s. The uncertainty in those blue-green eyes hurt because May knows she’s the one who put it there, along with the pain and longing she could also see. 

“Not great, but better,” Natasha answers. 

An awkward silence grew between them as May stood there next to Natasha’s hospital bed until she took her hands out of her sweater pockets so she could wrap the sweater around herself, holding it closed tightly around her body by pressing her arms over her stomach. “So,” She finally says, breaking the silence. “As it turns out, putting us both through heartbreak and pain did not shield me from feeling scared to death when I heard you were missing. Which means,” May saw that Natasha was about to say something and shook her head. “Don’t, just let me say this.” Natasha nodded and May continued. “Which means, I made a mistake, Natasha. I let my fear push me into making a choice I regret but was too stubborn to take back. I cheated us out months of being happy together, you, me, and Peter, and I’m sorry Natasha, I am so sorry.” 

Natasha’s head was spinning as she tried to sort out what May was saying. She wouldn’t let herself hope that May was saying there was a chance at having a second chance, but with everything else she was feeling, the guilt and anger at the mission going bad, she really wanted too. Hope would be a nice thing to feel right now. She let herself think of the conversation she’d had with Laura on the Barton’s front porch and said, “I didn’t know my Mum and SHIELD until I was seventeen, but I knew that sometimes my Ma was really afraid for her, and that made me afraid too. So I can understand where you were coming from, May.” She pauses for a moment, still thinking about her time with Laura and smiles. “I have this friend, she likes to call me a self-sacrificing jackass sometimes, and she’s right. You’re not the only one who cost us time, May. I could have, should have, fought harder for us.” 

“You were respecting my wishes, Nat.” May replies with a hint of a smile starting to tug at her lips. “I’d say that was at the very least galant.” 

“Well, I was raised by an English gentlewoman you know.” Natasha too was starting to allow a smile to blossom and her eyes took on a glimmer of hope.

The silence between them this time wasn’t as awkward. And this time, as May began to speak, instead of trying to wrap herself up, she let go of the edges of her sweater so she could reach out and take Natasha’s hand. For a moment she was actually afraid Natasha wouldn’t take it, so when the redhead did, she felt tears sting her eyes. “I hurt you Natasha, and for that I am so, so sorry.” She pauses for a moment, takes a deep breath, and then goes on. “I’m still shaky on this whole loving a secret agent superhero thing, but if you’d be willing to forgive me, and help me, I’d like to try again, because I really do love you, Natasha.” 

“I love you too.” Natasha replies easily as she finally allows her hope to build and spread throughout her body. It feels like stepping into the sun after weeks of standing alone in the cold rain.“So yes, of course, I want to work on us, I want there to be an us again.” 

May’s smile finally appears in full force; she chuckles a happy little sob, and then asks. “Would it be alright if I kissed you?”

“God please yes.” Natasha replies, her smile bright as May moves towards her, but then she adds, “Just watch the nose.” 

May coos softly and pouts out her bottom lip. “Oh, you’re poor, beautiful nose.” 

Natasha laughs and then pulls May in, tired of waiting, and kisses her.


	10. Chapter 10

The universe came dangerously close to succumbing to the mad intentions of a cosmic warloard, and it had no fucking clue. People went to bed each night ignorant of the fact that if not for the Avengers and their allies, half of them would have died or simply ceased to exist. Natasha didn’t really know how it would have worked, how Thanos would have culled half the universe’s population, and she really didn’t want to know. The Battle of Wakanda already haunted her dreams, and even seeped into her waking hours. She would be hit with the memory of Proxima Midnight threatening to kill Wanda while she loaded the dishwasher, or she would see Peter, battered and bloody in the mud after being thrown across the battlefield like a child’s discarded toy. Her body and mind would remember the feeling of Thanos forcing her to the ground, and the claustrophobic feeling of being pinned down by rock, leaving her gasping for air in the middle of a workout she easily breezed through without breaking a sweat any other time. She tried hard to keep her PTSD to herself, focusing instead on helping Wanda and Peter with their own haunting memories of war, but neither her mothers nor her girlfriend would allow Natasha to ignore her own needs. 

May held her so tight when the nightmares woke her that Natasha was actually surprised by the other woman’s physical strength. She held Natasha’s focus with unweaving compassion and patience whenever Natasha’s thoughts and memories ran away with her. Despite all the doubts that clouded their rocky times, May stepped up and loved Natasha the way she needed, giving the redhead as much of her own strength as Natasha needed to heal. May’s response to the whole thing, even the anger and fear, the long, loud, swear filled rants, just made Natasha even more sure about what she wanted to do next. She just needed to handle a few things first. 

After carefully riding her motorcycle through the narrow, winding roads Natasha parked it at the curb and pulled off her helmet before taking the footpath to her destination. The marker was simple; polished stone with an NYPD badge engraved into its surface just above the name ‘Detective Benjamin Franklin Parker’. Below his name the phrases, ‘Beloved Husband and Uncle.’ and ‘Proud Son of New York’ gleamed warmly in the early afternoon sun. Reaching into the front pocket of her jeans Natasha pulls out a shiny penny and places it on the headstone, a token of respect to let his family know he had a visitor, before she crouches down. She chews her lip a bit as she picks away leaf litter at the base of the stone. Then she speaks, “Hello Ben. I’m Natasha. You’re properly wondering why I’m here. I honestly debated whether this was a good idea or not, maybe it’s a bit silly, but it’s something I felt like I needed to do. So here I am.” 

“I want you to know that I love May and Peter very much and that I’m going to do everything in my power to protect them,” She continues. “To give them everything in this world that I can. They’re both amazing people, but you know this already because you loved them first, and I know how lucky, how blessed, I am to love them now.” Natasha pauses to sort out her thoughts and then finishes, “I guess I just wanted to reassure you that May and Peter are loved and in good hands, and not just mine, but my whole family’s.” 

After Wakanda it was hard for May to let her family out of her sight. She wanted nothing more than to hold them all tight in the safety of their home and never let them go. Not having witnessed the battle like she had New York only seemed to make the desire stronger because her imagination was filling the blanks left open by the retellings of her loved ones. But May knew she couldn’t shelter her family of heroes from the outside world, and that it was actually better for them if she helped them deal with the trauma and continue on with their lives. Which is why she scolded Peter about eating his breakfast on the ceiling, fussed at Natasha about taking Wanda to therapy on her motorcycle, dropped Peter off at Avengers’ Tower and reminded Pepper and Happy that he had therapy at three o’clock, and then picked up Wanda once her session was over while Natasha ran errands for her mothers’ upcoming family Sunday. She was trying to get things back to some sense of normal. Or as normal as life got when three out of four members of your household are Avengers. 

Natasha had found a therapist with military training who specialized in the kind of trauma suffered by military veterans and war refugees. Peggy had vetted the woman more thoroughly than the government vets those closest to the president. Once the therapist was deemed worthy, Wanda began seeing her regularly. In fact, Dr. Raynor was on her way to becoming the de facto Avengers therapist since she was also seeing Peter, Natasha, and Bucky. Sitting out front of the building waiting on Wanda, May wondered if perhaps they should see a therapist as a family. She wouldn’t lie and say she was suddenly ok with this whole having her loved ones risking their lives as heroes thing, because she wasn’t, it still terrified her. The fear of losing Natasha, or one of their kids, could be paralyzing for her, but May’s love was stronger than her fears. 

May smiled warmly as Wanda slipped into the passenger seat beside her. “How’d it go?” 

Wanda shrugs. “It was fine.” 

May knew that Wanda wasn’t always very talkative after a session so she didn’t push the girl. She simply started the car and once Wanda had fastened her seatbelt, pulled out into traffic. They’d only gone a couple of blocks when May noticed Wanda glancing up at her, an expression on her face that said she was trying to decide if she should say something. May again smiled warmly, reassuringly at the girl. “Something on your mind, sweetheart?” 

Wanda chews her lip as she looks up at her adoptive mother’s girlfriend. While the bond between Peter and Natasha had formed easily over the years, the relationship between Wanda and May was coming along a bit more slowly. Peter was much more open hearted, less scared by his losses than Wanda was. Wanda was a bit more cautious with her heart. For Peter, Natasha was Aunt Nat, he had accepted her as nothing less than his other parent. Wanda respected May’s role in her family, she even cared a great deal about her, but for now she was still her momma’s girlfriend. “Can I ask you a question and will you answer it instead of evading it like my Momma does?” 

“You can ask me anything, Wanda.” May reassures. “And I will be as honest and open with you as I can be.” 

Bright eyes narrow as Wanda tries to figure out if that’s one of those lines adults use to get around things, but she can’t quite tell so she asks anyway, not fully expecting May to be honest with her. “Does my Momma have nightmares about what happened in Wakanda?” 

“She does.” May nods. “So does Peter.” She adds. “What you all lived through, the things you saw, the things you had to do, that’s a lot for the human mind to process, Wanda. Dreams, nightmares, they’re how your mind tries to cope, to sort it all out. Sometimes that process can become too much, too overwhelming, like you’re on overload.” She pauses a moment as they wait at a red light to look over at Wanda, to look the girl in the eyes before continuing. “When that happens to me, as I’m laying there getting ready to fall asleep, I’ll picture a sort of gateway or a doorway, and behind that doorway are my dreams. I’ll picture something or someone I trust standing in front of the door, guarding it, keeping out the memories and thoughts that will turn them into nightmares.” 

“Does it work?” Wanda asks, thinking that sounded rather silly. 

May nods. “It does, not always, but most of the time, yes, it works.” 

Wanda would have to try that, silly sounding or not. Wakanda lingered in her dreams and the enormity of her powers haunted her thoughts. But what taunted Wanda most the last few days were recurring dreams about Pietro, about him being alive and just out of her reach. It was easier for her to remember him and their parents these days, to share those memories with her adoptive family, so she hadn’t dreamt of them, of their deaths, in a long time. It was a little unsettling to suddenly have Pietro running through her subconscious mind again. 

“Wanda,” May says gently. “Sweetie, are you ok?” 

“Yes, May? Oh, yeah, I’m ok.” Wanda replies with a small smile. “Sorry, guess I was just in my head a bit.” 

“That’s ok,” May reassures her. “Sorting things out in your head after a therapy session is normal, but don’t dwell too much. I’m sure you did a lot of hard work today, it’s ok to step back from it and take a breath.” She smiles at the girl, a loving, caring smile to remind the girl she was not alone and that she was loved. “How about you and I have lunch, hmm? Your choice.” 

Wanda smiles. “Pizza in the park?” 

May nods. “With ice cream after.” 

It amuses Natasha that Peter can swing through the city on his webs without fear, and yet on the back of her motorcycle he clings to her like a koala joey clinging to its mother. As they entered the house, which smelled heavenly of seasoned meat, onions, and garlic, she teased him. “You basically free fall between swings, little spider. How is my biker scarier?” 

“I don’t know.” Peter replies. “Just is. I mean, I’m in control of the webs.” 

“Ah.” Natasha nods as she hangs up her leather jacket and pulls off her boots. “After you’ve been driving a car for a full year, I’ll teach you how to ride a bike.”

“You will?” Peter replies, eyes wide with excitement. 

“Not a chance.” May cuts in while shaking her head as she looks up from her laptop as the pair walk into the living room. 

“Oh please,” Natasha replies before kissing May hello. “Like you don't absolutely love riding on the back of my bike.” 

May huffs but smiles. “Doesn’t mean I want you teaching the kids how to ride one of those things.” 

Wanda’s the reason the house smells so good. When Natasha walks into the kitchen the girl is busily following the directions coming from the tablet on the counter. The redhead smiles as she walks over to kiss her daughter’s temple, her blue-green eyes darting over to the smiling face on the tablet’s screen. “Hi Ma.” 

“Hiya angel.” Angie replies brightly. 

“What are you two cooking up?” Natasha asks as she hugs Wanda while stealing a hunk of cheese. 

“Macaroni and cheese,” Wanda answers as she bats at her momma’s cheese-thieving hands. “And grilled kebabs.” 

After nearly losing everything to Thanos these were the moments Natasha cherished most, the simple, normal, moments shared by a family. Shortly after returning from Wakanda, Tony sort of took central focus. His near death experience had pushed him into moving forward with his wedding. He didn’t want to live another moment of his life not being married to the woman he loved, and who by some miracle loved him just as much. Natasha knew the feeling, but being who she was she focused on being Tony’s best person, knowing that her time in the spotlight would come soon enough. Natasha couldn’t totally blame Tony for her waiting a little longer to act on her desires and feelings. She wanted some time between Wakanda, Thanos, and the Infinity Stones, and what would hopefully be a happy milestone in her life. She wanted to give herself and her family a little time to heal from the trauma so they could go into things with joy and untainted happiness. 

Tony and Pepper were finally back from their honeymoon, and with Sharon and Sam in town the Carter matriarchs ‘requested’ a family dinner. Natasha, who normally came over early for Sunday dinners anyway to get some one on one time with her mothers, was actually waiting for them on the cathedral steps. She’d been doing that more lately, showing up to sit beside one or both of her mothers in church. Something deep down in her soul said that things with Thanos could have ended in horribly worse ways, and Natasha wanted whomever or whatever was out there to know how grateful she was it ended the way it did for them. 

Just to prove how the whole thing had shaken them all to their cores, it wasn’t Angie who often reached for Natasha’s hand during the quiet reflective moments during the service, it was Peggy, her grip on her daughter’s hand so strong it bordered on painful. Natasha would squeeze her Mum’s hand back and lean into her a little more, offering back as much of the comfort and strength that Peggy had given her over the years as Peggy would accept. At first it was just Natasha joining Angie and Peggy on Sunday mornings, but the last few weeks saw May and the kids sitting in the Carter pew as well. After mass May would take the kids on to the faded red brick brownstone while Natasha and her mothers took a walk in the park, giving them their one on one time before the madness of a Carter family Sunday began. 

The black and red foam dart hit Natasha right in the shoulder just as she was about to take the first step up towards the front door of the brownstone. Instantaneous reflexes snatched the dart as it fell from bouncing off her shoulder, and when Natasha looked up to see who had declared Nerf War, she’d been expecting to see one of her kids or Tony, maybe even Sharon leaning out of one of the upper windows. The grinning face she saw instead made Natasha blink and her jaw drop a little, “May?” 

When May ducked back inside Natasha looked to Peggy as if asking permission and the matriarch of the Carter clan simply laughed and nodded her head. “Go on then, poppet, have a bit of fun.”

The smile that bloomed on Natasha’s face was bright and carefree in a way that her mothers hadn’t seen often since Thanos. She bolted up the stairs and through the front door where she dropped her leather jacket. Sharon’s voice called out from somewhere, reminding the participants that Natasha wasn’t officially in the game until she was armed. Natasha kept the personalized and modded Nerf guns Peter had given her in her bedroom, so that’s where she ran with a giddy cackle. She was after all the reigning Carter Family Nerf War champion, and she was excited by the chance to keep her title. 

Because Vision seemed to follow Wanda around like an imprinted duckling, Peggy found herself explaining the point of this particular family tradition to the synthezoid who’d started joining family gatherings, just as Wanda’s voice rang out from somewhere overhead. “Peter! You can’t hide on the ceiling! That’s cheating! If you’re using powers I’m using powers!”

“No powers!” Came Natasha’s response to the kids. 

It was a beautiful day, and after Peggy put an end to the Nerf War, everyone gathered in the backyard to enjoy the warmth and the sun. Burgers and hot dogs were grilled for lunch, and there were a tone of chips, fruits, drinks, and otter pops to keep everyone noshing until Peggy served up Dum Dum’s recipe for barbeque chicken for dinner. At some point someone broke out water pistols and the war was back on, but that came to an end after Angie broke out the water hose because Sharon had accepted Tony’s dare to unleash her supersoaker on their aunts. After dinner everyone settled down to just talk and drink and laugh as night crept in. Natasha felt lighter than she had in awhile as she sat on her mothers’ patio and watched her family enjoying each other. Tony and Pepper talk about their honeymoon, and Sharon shared her plans to join Sam in Louisiana to meet his sister and nephews. Peter and Wanda help Angie bring out dessert and Natasha is flooded with love and gratitude as she watches Wanda easily accept Angie’s affections now that she is comfortable with her place in their family. Natasha watches as she raises a brown bottle of microbrew to her lips as her Ma walks over and helps herself to her Mum’s lap. She grins when Angie takes the fanned out cards in Peggy’s hand and reorders them before setting them on the table and declaring, “Gin!” 

“We were playing canasta, my love.” Peggy chuckles as she pokes her wife in the side to make her squirm and giggle. 

The sound of May’s pure and joy filled laughter draws Natasha’s attention and she can’t help but smile. May fit so perfectly not only into her heart but into her family which was incredibly important to Natasha. Family meant the world to her, it always has, and to see the woman she loved become a part of that, it left Natasha feeling things she simply didn’t have the words to express. 

As everyone began moving inside to watch a movie after Angie declared being bitten once by a summer bug was one time too many, Natasha fell back, grabbing May as she passed to hold her back as well. There had been such a look of peace on her Mum’s face as she held her love on her lap, her chin resting on Angie’s shoulder as she listened to Angie sharing a story from long ago. It was a look that shouldn’t come so easily to someone who has lived through what Peggy Carter has lived through, and yet it was a soft expression that Natasha has grown up with but never fully understood until now. When the world goes all helter skelter around them, the love between her mothers keeps them balanced. Peggy Carter can know peace because Angie Martinelli loves her and will always be there to calm the storms. 

“Nat?” May asks gently as the pair stand alone in the backyard. “Hon, everything ok?” 

“Growing up I always saw my mothers’ relationship as this romantic fairy tale ideal.” Natasha replies, still holding May’s hand gently in her own. “But now, I can see the reality of it. When the world around them has gone to shit, there they stand, side by side, holding each other up in their wadeboots.” 

May chuckles softly. “For better, for worse, and everything in between.” 

Natasha nods. “Exactly, and now that I can see the reality of it, the good, the bad, the ugly, the wonderful, and the ordinary, I know more than ever that I want that. I want the kind of bond my mothers have with the person I love without doubt or hesitation. I want that with you, May, and yeah, I know we’ve pretty much already blended our lives together with the kids and the house and everything, but I want more. May,” Natasha smiles a bit bashfully as she tugs May closer. “I want the gold bands and the shared names and the piece of paper that says I’m yours and your mine.” Natasha pauses for a moment to take a breath, her free hand slipping into the pocket of her jeans to pull out the small royal blue velvet pouch she’d been carrying around since picking it up from Tony’s jeweler. “I would very much like the honor of being your wife, May Bella Reilly-Parker.” She had to let go of May’s hand to open the little pouch and retrieve what was inside. Pinching the gold band of the pearl and diamond engagement ring she had made between her forefinger and thumb, Natasha holds it up for May to see. “Marry me, May?” 

It’s such a perfect moment, simple and beautiful, the two of them standing barefoot in the summer grass, the moon over head, crickets singing to one another in the shadows, a little bubble of peace in their hectic lives. Despite May’s fears she could no more live without Natasha than she could live without food or water or air. She was still very much afraid of losing Natasha one of these days, but she had come to realize that if she weren’t strong enough to love heroes they wouldn’t keep coming into her life. May listens to Natasha, her heart swelling and spilling it’s warmth out into every cell of her body, while trying desperately not to laugh because Natasha’s picked up on Peter’s rush-through-the-nervous-words-as-quickly-as  
-possible habit. When Natasha finishes, when she finally gets to that ever so important question, May’s smile is big and bright, and her cheeks wet with the happy tears that have escaped her eyes when she’d blinked. “Yes,” May answers while reaching for Natasha’s face to draw her into a kiss. “Natasha Elizabeth Luisa Martinelli Carter, I will marry you.” 

Inside the faded red brick brownstone Peggy finally realizes that her daughter and May are missing from the room as she and Angie settle into the loveseat and are handed drinks by their niece before Sharon settles on the floor beside Sam. A hint of a sly smile tugs at Peggy’s lips as she figures the young couple has slipped off to steal a quiet moment alone. She’s content to leave the matter drop from her thoughts as she continues to soothingly scratch lightly at the warm skin of her wife’s back, her hand having found its way under Angie’s blouse when Angie leaned forward to peer at the screen as Peter and Pepper scrolled through movie listings. Angie however was not willing to overlook Natasha’s absence. 

“Where’s Nattie?” Angie asks as she looks around for her angel. 

It’s Vision who responds, “Agent Carter and Ms. Parker are currently in the backyard.” He tilts his head as he listens and then continues his report. “Agent Carter seems to have asked Ms. Parker to marry her.”

“Viz!” Wanda scolds lightly. “Stop! That’s a private conversation and your eavesdropping!” 

“What did May say?” Angie asks her granddaughter’s synthezoid best friend. 

Peggy shakes her head at her wife and gives Vision a look that says not to answer that. “Wanda is right, that is a private moment between Natasha and May. They will tell us what we need to know when they’re ready to tell us.” 

Angie turns to look at her wife and pouts, “But English!” 

“No buts.” Peggy replies firmly. “Pepper dear, have you and Peter picked a film?” 

“Pepper votes we go make s’mores in the backyard instead of watching a movie.” Tony blurts out as he jumps to his feet.

Pepper blinks. “No I don’t.”

Outside Natasha and May are cuddled up on the yard swing and Natasha can’t stop smiling as she watches May looking at the ring now on her finger. She does have a flicker of worry despite the radiant smile on May’s own face. “I hope you don’t mind that it’s not a traditional engagement ring, it’s just that I really can’t do gemstones right now.” Natasha actually shudders at the thought of anything resembling the Infinity stones. “And the pearl does have meaning, a history behind it.” 

May looks up to meet Natasha’s blue-green eyes as she says, “It’s perfect, Natasha, I love it.” She leans in and kisses her new fiancee, and then as she pulls back she asks, “Tell me about my pearl.” 

“The only thing my great grandmother had of material value was a little leather pouch of pearls her father, who according to family lore was a pirate and somehow responsible for Mum’s adventurous spirit, gave her. She divided up those pearls between her two daughters, my grandmother Amanda and her sister Phyllis, when they came of age.” Natasha begins. “After my grandparents were married, my grandfather promised Gran she’d have a proper strand of pearls one day. It took time for him to collect enough pearls to add to what Gran had from her mother to do it, but he managed, and on the day of my Mum’s christening he gave Gran her necklace.” Natasha is still smiling but there is a flicker of longinging in her eyes. She missed her grandparents so much and wished they could be here to meet her family. “Gran used some of the pearls from her necklace to start a strand for Mum which she gave her when she became engaged at the start of the war. Mum also ended up with her aunt’s pearls since Aunt Phyllis never had children of her own.”

May had truly loved the ring as soon as she’d seen it, but hearing the story behind it just made it so much more special. Natasha came from a long line of remarkable women, and May loved the idea of being added to that lineage in a way.

“Mum continued the tradition, giving me my strand the day I graduated university.” Natasha continues, her smile bright. “I’ve started a strand for Wanda.” She blushes a bit at having admitted to such sentinmatily. “I’m not sure when I’ll give it to her, though, I’ll know the right moment when it comes.” Natasha reaches for May’s left hand to hold in her own. “As I was sorting through them, I decided one of the pearls I removed from my strand would have another purpose because it was the most unique of the whole bunch.” 

“Nat.” May says softly before allowing a kiss to express the rest of her emotions. 

The newly engaged couple remained outside a little longer before heading in to join the rest of their family. Natasha was actually surprised no one had come looking for them. They’d agreed not to say anything right away, wanting to see if anyone noticed. As soon as they walked into the room everyone stopped what they were doing and all eyes were suddenly on them. Natasha chuckled, “What?” 

“What were you two up to?” Tony asks with a grin as he wagged his eyebrows at them. 

Natasha snorts. “Nothing inappropriate, this is my mothers’ house.” 

That caused Angie to snort. “Like that’s ever stopped you before.”

Sharon grins an evil grin. “Haven’t you two had make up sex upstairs in Nattie’s childhood bed?”

“Please don’t answer that.” Peter whines. 

Wanda’s smirk looks a little too much like Sharon’s for Peter’s liking as she pokes him in the side. “You know they have sex in our house when they think we’re asleep or not around, right?” 

“I hate you.” Peter whines at his adoptive sister. 

“Could you all stop traumatizing my kid.” Natasha huffs at them all. “Peter clearly doesn’t want to know that his aunt and I know what each other looks like naked.” 

“Auntie Nat!” Peter groans.

May shakes her head at them while flashing a wicked grin of her own. “You’re all horrible, I can’t believe I’m marrying into this.” 

Natasha laughs hard. “Wow, you lasted all of five seconds.” 

The room bursts into cheers of congratulations as hugs and kisses are exchanged, best wishes given, and talk of wedding planning begins with Tony firmly declaring, “My Nattie-Cat gets the wedding of her dreams on my dime! No arguments Natasha, I mean it. It’s the least I can do for you, and Sharon too, for putting up with me your whole lives.” 

Some of the bigger choices to be made were actually easy. It would be a church wedding because, “Your mother and I were married in a church, angel, by a priest. It wasn’t legal or sanctioned at the time, but that didn’t matter. What mattered,” Angie had explained one afternoon over lunch at their favorite bistro. “Was having the promises we made to one another witnessed by something or Someone who would help us keep ourselves accountable.” So the first available opening the cathedral had was booked for a Saturday afternoon ceremony. Wanda would be Natasha’s Maid of Honor and her mothers would walk her down the aisle. Peter would pull double duty, walking May down the aisle and then taking his place as her Best Man. Tony pouted a bit so Natasha made him and Sharon bridesmaids. May asked her friends Carmen and Anna Watson to be hers. In fact it was her friend Anna who helped May find the stunning blue-green opal engagement ring May gave to Natasha while in bed together after a weekend of having the house to themselves. 

While there was plenty of dress shopping to be done, the one dress that didn’t need to be found was Natasha’s wedding dress. Her mothers had asked her for an afternoon alone, just the three of them, and Natasha as always was more than happy to make the time for them. After finishing up a meeting with Valkyrie, (whose actual name was Brunnhilde which Natasha discovered because apparently Carol Danvers called her Hildie in a rather casual way that had Natasha wondering what was happening there because Natasha was under the impression that Carol had history with her Mum’s old friend Maria Rambeau) in which Valkyrie expressed concern that something weird was up with Thor, Natasha headed to Brooklyn. There had been something in her Mum’s tone of voice when she asked her to come over that had Natasha wondering what was up. There was a softness to the timber of Peggy’s voice that Natasha only heard when she was thinking of someone they’d lost along their lives’ path and she missed them dearly. 

“Alright then, poppet?” Peggy asks by way of greeting when her little girl walks into their home. 

Natasha nods as she hugs her mother. “I’m good, Mum.”

They share a late lunch and talk just like normal but then Peggy tells Natasha there’s something upstairs for her, on her bed in her room. Natasha gets excited by the idea of a present, and Angie tells her that it’s not from them. Natasha’s about to burst from the curiosity this declaration creates in her, and she takes the stairs three at a time to get to her room faster. There’s a periwinkle colored box in the center of her bed with a satin ribbon around it, tied into a perfect knot on top. Natasha knows that kind of box, had seen ones like it countless times growing up, and the sight of it now stops her dead in her tracks. Her first communion and confirmation dresses and her prom dress had come in boxes that color with that kind of ribbon. In fact she’d been the one who’d picked out the color of those boxes. “What do you think, little star, what color should I choose for my professional looking signature boxes?” Ana Jarvis had asked a tiny Natasha who replied, “Prettywinkle, Néni!” Ana had laughed brightly as she addressed her husband, “You heard her Mr. Jarvis, we’ll do the boxes in Prettywinkle.” 

Tears burned Natasha’s blue-green eyes as she slowly made her way across her bedroom floor to stand beside her bed. There was a letter tucked into the ribbon and Natasha knew the elegant script announcing her name right away. “Aunt Ana.” She whispers, hand trembling as she reaches for the letter. Natasha’s gaze flickers over to the nightstand where Ana’s Star of David used to rest in it’s shadowbox, just as her other hand reaches up to press against her matching cross. Ana’s star was now on a shelf in her bedroom in her own home right beside the statue with her Aunt Maria’s Rosary. Taking a deep breath, Natasha opens the envelope and removes the letter within with such care one might think the paper was made of vibranium and therefore extremely valuable. To Natasha it was the words written in her late godmother’s hand that was priceless. 

‘My Precious Little Star, 

My heart is joyful at the thought that you have found a love so meaningful and wondrous that you wish to spend your life with someone who must be absolutely remarkable if they have been deemed worthy of you and your beautiful heart. I wish you a lifetime of wonder and happiness, Natasha, but also strength, bravery, and wisdom. Marriage is oftentimes hard and a lot of work, and love can not be expected to carry it’s full weight all alone. 

I pray that I am there to help you prepare and to bear witness, but if I am not there on your special day, Little Star, know that I am with you always. My love shines in the stars above and in each stitch of the gift I have left for you. Wear it knowing that those who loved you first will be there with you as you're surrounded by those who love you now. Shine my most precious little star, shine bright and beautiful so we may continue to see your beautiful light. 

Love always and forever, your Néni Ana.’ 

Natasha presses the letter to her chest as she lets the loving words wash over her heart. Then she sets the letter down on the bed and reaches for the box, gently tugging at the satin bow with shaking hands. The dress inside the box is the most beautiful thing Natasha has ever seen. The under dress is white stain, cinched at the waist, Queen Anne neckline, trumpet skirt, but where the dress really sparkled, quite literally, was the hand crystaled tulle overlay and it’s hundreds of tiny stars. 

“Heavens,” Peggy gasps from the doorway where she and Angie were hoovering. “It’s exquisite.” 

Angie nods her agreement. They hadn’t seen the dress themselves until now. Ana had packaged it to survive the years between its creation and when Natasha would need it, so they hadn’t touched it. “What do you think, angel?” 

“It’s perfect.” Natasha says breathlessly as she holds it up to herself and glances at her reflection across the room. 

“Ana left instructions with us, that if she herself could not make any alterations that might be needed, then we were to reach out to Esmarelda, do you remember her poppet?” Peggy says, tears in her eyes as she watches her little girl in awe of her wedding dress. “She was a maid at the mansion and Ana’s assistant? Ana taught her how to be a seamstress.” 

Natasha simply nods, still to overcome by her beloved godmother’s final gift to her. 

May found her dress in a little shop in the village. The dress had intricate embroidery and handmade lace beading. It had bellowy lace bell sleeves, and criss cross lacing up the back. Her bridesmaids had called it romantic boho, and very much May. Peter and Wanda would wear a suit and dress in a shade of grey called Blue Morning, while the rest of the wedding party wore a lighter grey called Subtle Fog. Natasha spent several hours telling Tony, “Just because you’re a bridesmaid doesn’t mean you have to wear a dress Tony, a suit will be fine, but thanks for offering to scar our guests for life.” 

“I look good in a dress, thank you very much.” Tony had huffed playfully and then took Peter to get fitting for a suit as promised. He did send several selfies later that day of himself and Peter in dresses. 

With Pepper involved everything else seemed to fall into place easily. Their reception would be at the Met and all the finer details would be handled by the same wedding planner Pepper and Tony had used. They would get exactly what they wanted to make the day special and memorable. One evening after eating way too many sample cakes, there was a knock on the front door which May answered while Natasha moaned softly while curled up on the sofa cursing that last piece of Bailey’s white chocolate cake. When May returned to the living room, instead of giving Natasha the glass of alka seltzer she’d asked for, May said, “There are two very intimidating women at the door asking for you.” 

Natasha frowned, her mind racing as she tried to figure out who could be at the door of their home that would cause May look a little uneasy. She knew who the women were the moment she saw them, and relaxed. When she returned to the living room May asked what was up and Natasha smiled. “Those were Dora Milaje from the Wakandan Embassy. They brought us a wedding gift from T’Challa.”

One ounce of vibranium to be used in their wedding bands, according to the note that came with T’Challa’s gift. Since the bands were meant to symbolize the unbreakable bond between them, and the commitment their hearts vowed to one another, “The bands should be made of something stronger and more flexible than gold.” Luckily the jeweler her Uncle Howard had used to make hers and her aunt’s necklaces was still alive, and as it turned out, from Wakanda which explains how he’d been able to use the priceless metal so easily to make the requested jewelry. The bands, when they were finished and presented to them, mere days before the wedding were stunning, a warmer hue than gold with a center strip that almost seemed to glow from the vibranium. 

Their Hen Night started off as a joint adventure, dinner and drinks, karaoke and lip sync battles that included the kids, but broke off as the evening turned into late night. Pepper and Angie went with May and her friends to offer up advice on marrying into the Carter clan. Peggy stayed with Natasha and at brunch the next morning didn’t have to explain how she got pasties on the seat of her trousers because Angie didn’t want to explain why the knuckles on her dominant hand were slightly bruised. 

Something old. For Natasha, Peggy gave her her mother’s handkerchief, which she herself carried each time she married Angie. For May, it was her mother’s cross which was given to her by her older sister. Something new. Tony had a star pendant made to match Natasha’s dress, and he had tears in his eyes as he put it on her. Natasha got May a new dress watch with M. B. C engraved in an interlock monogram font on the back. Since Parker had been Ben’s name, May would take Carter as her new last name. Natasha would add Reilly to her list of names somewhere between Luisa and Martinelli, though May said she didn’t have too. Tony had teased, “You could always save it and use it as a baby’s name.” Tony seemed to be on a baby kick these days. May’s something blue also had her new monogram embroidered on it, a gift from Peggy, “A Carter always has a handkerchief.” She told May before kissing the young woman’s cheek. Angie had chuckled while fussing over her soon to be daughter in law. “I’m surprised it wasn’t a thigh holster.” Peggy huffed, “Don’t be ridiculous, darling. May hasn’t shown any interest in firearms.” Natasha’s something blue were her Aunt Maria’s sapphire earrings. Angie provided both girls with their something borrowed, she gave Natasha her Rosary to wrap around her bouquet and she gave May the earrings she wore each time she vowed to love Peggy for the rest of their lives. 

“One last thing,” Peggy had said to each of the brides before she and Angie prepared to escort Natasha down the aisle. “A sixpence for your shoe.” 

Natasha had never really been the type of little girl who sat around daydreaming about her wedding, but if she had been this would have been it. Her family and closest friends gathered together to watch her make a promise to the person she loved, a sacred vow to love and cherish her through the good and the bad and everything in between as they share their lives together. Natasha had grown up knowing that she would settle for nothing less than what her mothers had, and she knew without doubt or hesitation that May was the one she would have that with. 

While the wedding ceremony had been just family and close friends, everyone was invited to the reception. People from every stage of Natasha's life danced, drank, and ate well into the early morning hours alongside the people in May’s life. Janet van Dyne got lost in conversation with Carmen about the non-profit she and May had started, while Hope danced with Scott, and Hank argued with anyone willing to bicker with him. Thor made loud, boisterous toasts to their happiness, stamina, and fertility, which made Peter blush, which in turn made Wanda and Shuri laugh at how easy it was to make him do that. Bruce had brought Helena Cho as his date and was doing fairly well at not looking so socially awkward. Okeye, while keeping a watchful eye on her Princess, was having a conversation with Anna Watson. Steve and Bucky were busy trying not to look at each other with confused, longing, gay panic glances as they danced with May’s sisters. Peggy and Angie were on cloud nine as they celebrated their little girl’s happiness, though Peggy did cast an inquisitive and cautious glance at one of the staff members a few times before the woman disappeared. Clint and Laura were talking and laughing with Bobbi and Hunter by the bar, while the other couples like Sharon and Sam, Tony and Pepper, and the brides danced. Carol couldn’t make it, she was down south somewhere apparently handing family stuff, but Brunnhilde was there and drinking everyone under the table. Goose, who had been the ring bearer, and Chewie who’d been the flower kitten, were perched on silk pillows taking it all in. When it came time to throw their bouquets Natasha and May called everyone who was single to the center of the room and threw them together on the count of three. Scott Lang caught May’s and his face lit up as he looked over at Hope like she’d hung the moon just for him. Melinda May, though she wasn’t even trying to participate, caught Natasha’s causing Daisy’s face to light up. Melinda blinked and declared, “No.” In a firm voice while throwing the flowers back towards Natasha who was grinning wickedly only to have the bouquet land at Phil Coulson’s feet. 

With Wanda and Peter safe and sound at the faded red brick brownstone with Peggy and Angie, Natasha and May set off for a week in a luxury treehouse on Krabey Island in Cambodia followed by two weeks in Paris and Rome. They would finish their month long honeymoon in Disney with the kids, and undoubtedly mothers and cousins as well knowing the Carters. 

“Thank you,” Natasha says softly to May as she holds her new wife in her arms. 

“For?” May asks, shifting a bit so she can look up at Natasha as they cuddle naked in bed as the warm island sun shines down on them. 

“Loving me enough to allow this to happen despite your fears.” Natasha answers. “For trusting that I love you enough to try to alleviate those fears as best I can.” 

May kisses her new wife and then smiles as she presses her forehead to Natasha’s. “You are worth it, Natasha, loving you and being loved by you, so totally worth it all.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading, commenting, and enjoying! While this is far from the end of Natasha Carter and her family and her love and her life, I do think this is a nice place to end this part. Anything further with Natasha/May at it's core will get a new story. Other wise keep watching Life Happens and Cousins are the Best for more Natasha and the Carter Fam. 
> 
> Also, if you ever want to see what I use for visual inspiration, like say dresses and rings, or longing looks over beer bottles, and what not, follow me on Instagram. StoriesbyReese 
> 
> Thanks again,   
~Reese


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